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6 Bumps

Am I Wrong for Being Mad?

I'll try to keep this short; a friend is having her first baby, another friend and I said that we'd love to throw her a shower. At the time, she said she wanted a small group of friends (about 15), and she wanted to have it at my house. Perfect. I had the menu planned, invitations done - and she texted me a week ago (didn't even call) to say that she was having it at a hall, and she was inviting 50 people. She told another friend that she changed her mind because she knew that myself and the other lady throwing the shower would get her something nice, but she didn't think anyone else would.

I just started getting RSVP calls. I didn't even know that she had sent invitations, who she sent them to, or what I'm even supposed to say.

On top of everything else, I am moving in two weeks (to another state). They decided that I should coordinate everything because I don't work. The shower is this Sunday - and I have no idea who is doing what now because the mom to be keeps changing things. She is just expecting me to get a final headcount (when I don't even know who is invited), buy all the food and decorations, and take care of things "because I always do and she knows she can count on me." (This was said to a mutual friend yesterday).

I don't even feel like going, let alone throwing this. I feel taken advantage of. She hasn't even spoke to me in weeks - she's been "busy." I've tried to call her and get everything sorted out, instead she is talking through the other lady who is helping me throw the shower. She told another friend that she expects her shower will be "fabulous" because of the bachelorette party I threw for another friend.


Asked by Scuba at 11:23 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 34 (64,138 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • Resign as party planner. Period. Of course you're right... and she's a clod.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • i would be PISSED!

    Answer by gardenchic at 11:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You're friend is rude and is using you. You should be angry. Text her and let her know you're no longer involved.

    Answer by SuperChicken at 11:27 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If it were me, I would tell the mom-to-be that since she took over she can finish with all the planning, decorating and food, and that you won't be able to attend her shower because you will be busy getting ready for your move.

    Answer by pennycandy at 11:27 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Yeah, I'd be put out! I wouldn't even call her. I would drive to her house when she is likely to be home (unannounced) and I would discuss this.

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:26 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Under no circumstances are you expected to attend, purchase a gift for, or be repsonsible for an event that you haven't been invited to.

    She is NOT your friend.

    Answer by SuperChicken at 11:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Selfish, selfish, selfish....did I mention selfish?!

    Ugh. I hate friends like this...we all have a few of them. They put themselves first every time. I think I would go to her house, or invite her to lunch or to your house, and have a discussion with her. It would be best to be face to face, if possible so she can't squirm away. It think you should remind her how your time is valuable and you don't have the extra time and resources to be changing gears like this last minute. Try to remain neutral when you talk to her. Give her options. This or that. And it might mean that you hand the responsibility over to someone else, or her and be done with it. Let her know you are willing and happy to do that.

    She has been very inconsiderate. Really not good friend material at the end of the day.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Oh and buy her one of those super sized rubber ducks, put it in the middle as a centerpiece for the event, then inform her very nicely and politely half way through that she can take the duck centerpiece home, it is your gift to her! That'll do. Save your money for someone who is more appreciative.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Let her mess with it. Shes the one who decided to throw her own baby shower and let you handle it in the end.

    Answer by Misteh at 11:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would be very mad

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 11:29 AM on Jan. 18, 2011