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2 Bumps

Best friends making the best boyfriends?

I've had this best friend for about 2 years and last year we got really close and it was an emotionally stressful time for me. We ended up having sex one night in December when I was sleeping over his house and then again on Valentines day. We were both sober enough to know what we were doing. Well needless to say it made our friendship stressful so we stopped and took a break from our friendship even for 6 months. Well in the summer we started becoming friends again and have stayed strictly friends. We are now able to talk and joke around about our past and it's not as awkward. We've gotten really close again and text and call each other all the time. I still feel like he's the person that I'm meant to be with but a year ago he didn't feel the same and I haven't brought the subject up because I don't want to stress our friendship again. Last year this time I took him off my facebook when we stopped hanging out because I just needed a break completely. Well neither one of us has made the effort to friend the other one because I think we're both just waiting for the other one to do it. Well last night at 2 am he finally requested me, I know it was at 2 am because it was sent to my phone.
I'm just wondering what he was doing thinking of me at 2 am that he decided that he wanted to friend me? And when something good happens in his life he calls me. He tells his mom about me! After I have a first date with someone that is less than what I expected I end up at his house just to watch tv. There are things about him that drive me crazy but I still love him. We have a lot of the same interests in common and I don't know if I'm just reaching for signs that he feels the same without bringing it up again. I just feel like with such a strong connection how can it not be right? Does anyone have any suggestions, thoughts, or similar stories?

Answer Question

Asked by yezay at 11:32 AM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you do decide to get into realationship remember there is always the possibilty of it runing your friendship, I was in a similar sitaution to this it was a mess, just follow your heart & make sure you both know what you want

    Answer by Marie_07 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You took 'your best friend' off FB because you 'needed a break'? That's not friendship, that's something else. An addiction, or an obsession, or some kind of bizarre drama.

    I think you're overthinking this.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:40 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Linda have you ever needed space from someone after something ended badly? How do you get space when you see their face and their words everyday? We still talked occasionally but weren't in our lives everyday. Once you've crossed the line to something physical you can't just go back to the way things were you need time to reevaluate and that's what it was.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 11:43 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My fiancee is my best friend. Has been for 15 years. We have never been friends on facebook or any other social networking site. The reason? We talk enough in person that we don't need to do it on the computer.

    It sounds like you aren't that great of friends to begin with. You needed a 'break' from him? Sounds like you both need to grow up a little more before either of you get into a relationship with each other or anyone else.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:45 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Why is it that hard of a concept? I couldn't emotionally handle being that close to him without having a relationship with him. It was only for a few months while I figured out how to be his friend while having feelings for him. I'd prefer not to be friends with him on facebook because I don't need it to stay in touch with him but I wasn't going to deny the request. We're both very responsible and I needed the break so that we didn't ruin the friendship. We're stronger now than we've ever been but it was a mistake for us to have a physical situation without first establishing what we both wanted.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 11:51 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • personally, if a guy was a boyfriend, then he was a boyfriend right from the start.
    I started dating a friend and it was the worst mistake I every made.

    if you want to date a friend fine, but make sure the sparks are there. If they aren't, you could end up in a passionless marriage some day.
    who wants that?

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:58 AM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Very true itsme, but kissing him was the most passion I've ever felt and I've tried dating around since then but I just haven't been able to find that spark with anyone else. I'm afraid that maybe I'm romanticizing it though.  He still gives me butterflies and I've known him for almost 2 years and we've been friends for about 2.


    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I have noticed that the couples who are friends first before they start a romantic relationship work out a lot better than those that just jump in.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • That's what I'm saying... He's my best friends and there's nothing from his past that's going to show up and nothing that we have to reveal to each other. I'm just wondering if he feels the same way but I don't want to bring the subject up again... Maybe I'll just have to wait and see.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 12:18 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • well goodluck mama take it slow dont rush into any thing just enjoy each others company & see where it goes

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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