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What makes a great step mom


Asked by babylovebugs at 12:15 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (54 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • Ive had 5 stepmothers , yes 5 my dad isnt nice, out of all of them only one i took to and actually called her mommy (and her name). She provided for me, she was involved with my life, asked how my real mother was, how my other family was, loved me, gave me advice and id sit in bed with her for hours in the morning watching morning tv shows in our pjs and just spent time together. She stuck up for me when my father was mean and she took care of me when i was sick just like my real mom except i didnt see her as much as my real mom. Ill never forget her, she was very nice.

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 12:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • One that doesn't interfere with whats going on with the child's real mom!

    I know a lot of women that get so sick of the "new S.O." trying to run the show! etc.

    Answer by khf22 at 12:17 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I have a great step mom and a not so good step dad, here is the difference......

    from the get go my dad and step mom viewed the family as their family... not his kids and her kids.  They understood that OUR world had been ripped apart at the seams and we had no control over any of the chaos in our lives... they remained the adults and dealt with our bad teenage behavior out of love... understanding that we were all still very upset that our parents got a divorce and remarried.

    My mom and step-dad always and even to this day (20+ years later) have the attitude of your child and my child.  They expected us to just go with the flow and be happy for them and they would chew us out for getting up set.  They were very self centered on THIER happiness and would even say things to us about how they just got married and needed time alone.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I have to whole hearted disagree with anon. If you let a child think you are there ONLY for the father than you are already headed down a horrid path that will last way into the child's adult life. anon sounds like a scored bm.

    I am NOT an advocate of divorce and remarriage... I am the child of divorce.  And I can tell you first hand that would be a terrible thing to do to a child.


    Answer by sahlady at 12:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Lots of effort, compassion & understanding.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:23 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Treating all children equally too & making sure that they all feel like part of the family. That is extremely important

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Okay for annon, when you say that when the step mom knows she is not the mother, isnt always right. My hubbys daughter lives w/us, im the one who takes her to school, cooks for her,takes her to her Drs appointments& am practiaclly the 1st one that is there when she needs something,she has been living w/us for about 6 months, she has her biological mother who loves& cares for her but just doesnt seem to do for her daughter the way i do, so that little phrase imo is stupid.I dont refer to her as mo stepdaughter& i care& lover her just the same way i love my biological kids.I have earned the title of a great mother even if i didnt give birth to her.

    Answer by gabby06 at 12:34 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • hate to be the one to break it to anyone, but that whole 'real mom' think is just a title.
    I've known so many people who on their wedding day have to deal with how to break it to 'real mom' that they won't be in the recieving line, or they want the step parent to get the honored jobs.

    I would say a good step mom loves the child as much as possible and is involved as much as possible.
    the most children are loved the better it is.

    it's about children being loved, not about the bio mom's ego.
    get over it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • it depends how much time they spend with the stepkids. how much responsibility or authority over what they do. how much bio mom is involved and how much bio dad is not. a step parent can be "perfect" and the step kid may still not like them.

    Answer by nonni2 at 1:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • A great stepmom knows they are NOT THE MOTHER. In fact they are, the, STEPmom. Someone who is just there for the FATHER.
    Some STEPmoms think they have rein over the children. PISSES me off, I had a STEPmom just like this. I surely, (my mother also) let her know real quick. This is why step parents are looked down on SO much!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Jan. 18, 2011