I'd like to clarify my role/relationship with my 6yr old stepson. It's apparent from conversation/questions posed there's confusion. The soure is the BM. She refuses to acknowledge my role - Introducing my ex as the boy's Dad then me by name only - not, there stepmom, or ex's fiance. She's described me to my 6yr old stepson as her friend - great initial definition - before I became dad's fiancee but a much clearer, more defined picture could be framed - if she chose. I've asked my stepson his thoughts about the relationships to gauge his understanding - he's extremely smart - yet had no idea how I connect with Dad, or him. He's embraced the concept of stepbrothers, a start.Answer Question
I dont think i would define it. It will grow and change over time. I would tell him how much you love his father and how much you love him and that you will always be there for him. That you in no way plan on replacing his mom nor do you want him to call you mom... but that you will love him just the same. I would keep it open ended so it has room to grow and change as the years go on.
A mom doenst have to define her role... and neither should you. He just needs to be reasured that you love him and that you are NOT going to replace his mom.
Answer by sahlady at 12:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by khf22 at 12:26 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by elizabr at 12:27 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:38 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by JLS2388 at 3:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by matthewscandi at 5:15 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2011
I am trying to figure out how it is the mothers job to explain who you are to the kid. Seems like that is something your fiance should be doing. The mom called you her friend at first and that is what you were before becoming the fiance. Now dad should be talking to his child about you and your role. He brought you into the childs life it is his job to make you and the child feel comfortable with that. Feels like you are looking for trouble when there isn't any.
Answer by FricknFrack at 4:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2011