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What makes someone cheat?

Either men or women, why do people cheat on their partners?

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Asked by luvmypolywogs at 1:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • they can throw out all the tender fuzzies they want, but I say it's mostly because they're tired of little to no sex, or sex that's boring they've had it.
    you often hear the 'they understood me' and all that, but you can make a connection and be understood plenty without involving sex.

    I think they go after sex somewhere else because they want the sex.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Many, many reasons. I don't think any cheating situation is exactly like the other. People have different reasons. I have never cheated or been cheated on, so i can't really say i have any personal experience though.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:11 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It can be emotions too though ItsMe. Some men cheat because they are not receiving love from their wife. I definitely don't think it's all about the sex. I'm sure sometimes it is though, we all know there are lots of horn-dogs out there.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:12 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • From my experiences: group sessions w/cheaters and their spouses, books, marriage counselling..etc.

    Each individual has their own reasons for cheating. However, those reasons in many (if not most) cases boils down to: feeling unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and unhappy with themselves &/or their marriage. There are needs (either perceived or real) that the person does not feel are being met. Very rarely is it purely a need for sex. In most cases it is the need for: appreciation, companionship, friendship, understanding, things along this line. When people feel their spouses do not appreciate them/what they do, and someone else starts treating them like they are the best thing since sliced bread, they become attracted to that person. Then they get to where they"need" the way that person is making them feel. It's their bright spot so to speak. There is a reason most cheaters say "They understand me better than my spouse".


    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:14 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I didn't mean that it's ALL about the sex, I'm sure it's not. But I do think that's the main reason they have sex with someone else. they want sex or better sex. call a spade a spade.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:17 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • That's usually a real buzz phrase with cheaters.Another one is "I've never felt like this about someone before."... or.. "I love my spouse, but I'm IN love with my affair partner". Cheaters are getting : ego strokes, appreciation, support for their feelings..etc. From their affair partner that they do not feel they are getting from their spouse for whatever reason.

    When there are lots of issues/problems in a marriage that are never really resolved. Hurt feelings develop, resentments develop, distance happens.. Add on top of those things, the disconnect that many married couples experience due to allowing life/children to come between their interpersonal relationship. If your spouse treats you like crap & another treats you better. BAM you have the formula brewing for an affair. Good honest open communication between spouses can and does go a long way in helping prevent something like that from happening.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:18 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think it comes down to a self centeredness and a lack of morals.

    A normal person knows where the line in the sand is and will not cross it... a better person wont even put them selves in that position... a person with a lack of morals goes on "feelings" and doesn't think about the consequencesthey function in a self centered way thinking about themselves only.

    there is no excuse


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Because something is lacking either within the one who decides to cheat or within the marriage itself and rather than be mature and own up and work on the issues, it is used as an excuse to cheat. It ain't easy people; nothing worth doing ever is. Of course, people justify it by stupid comments like "I wasn't happy" or "I don't love you anymore" or even worse, "He/she completes me". Ugh. The really sad part is that the cycle will repeat itself in the next relationship too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • In the end, lack of respect for themselves, their partners and their relationship.

    If you're not happy, open your mouth and say so. Either work on it together or be honest and let the other person go. But to get a little on the side while you keep a partner at home is disrespectful.

    Answer by geminilove at 1:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • There are a multitude of possible reasons: sex, an ego boost, problems at home, wanting to feel young again, a fight between partners, revenge, alcohol, the thrill of maybe being caught, being in love with more than one person at once, sense of entitlement; midlife crisis, as in my dad's case; or simply being a horny shithead, as in my ex's and ex-brother-in-law's cases. Either way it's inexcusable. If you want your existing relationship to work, you shouldn't be cheating; and if you don't care if it works, break it off before you get jiggy with someone else. There is NO excuse for cheating.

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 1:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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