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Grade school bullying (kind of long)

My niece, who is 8 & in 3rd grade, has been getting bullied at school by a 5th grade boy for the last couple of months. He harasses her during lunch & recess, calling her names, and if she tries to get away from him, he and his friends chase her. She has told a teacher twice, and one of her friends told a teacher once; all they did was ask the boy if he was picking on her, he said "no, she's lying", & they dropped it. She has now been acting out at home, bullying her little sisters, having anxiety attacks & nightmares, begging to be homeschooled and talking about SUICIDE. The school's anti-bullying policy says they have 48 hrs to report & investigate ANY suspicion of bullying and they haven't done that. My SIL & MIL will be meeting with the asst. principal tomorrow (snow day today) to discuss the issue, but short of expelling the bully (which I highly doubt will happen) what can they do? Clearly the school doesn't give a shit, and even if they speak to the bully, it doesn't mean the behaivor will stop or even get worse.
Has your child gone through this? How did the school handle it, how did you handle it? What, if anything, did you do to get your child through the emotional trauma? My SIL is at her wit's end, not knowing what else she can do to protect her child, afraid that my niece will hurt herself. I know everyone has to learn at some point that life isn't fair and people can be cruel, but no 8 year old should want to die. Any advice would be appreciated!

Answer Question
 
Koukla12905

Asked by Koukla12905 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 15 (2,114 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If that was my child I would pull them from school and homeschool them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • That is terrible. The school should have a zero tolerance rule on bulling, (ours does, I believe) I would go to the head of the school district if the outcome of the meeting dosnt sound like it will help, keep going untill they do something. Why is it that they believe a bully more than the victim? I hate that. And and older boy at that, ....the school has to do something.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 1:17 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Yes, and in short, you HAVE to go up the chain.

    Get a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy, IN WRITING.

    Get a copy of the school's plan for dealing with your niece's bully. IN WRITING.

    Inform the school, per the policy, that they have 48 hours to implement said policy. IN WRITING.

    If the principal does nothing after that 48 hours, then contact the superintendant and send them copies of everything. IN WRITING.

    If that gets you nowhere, keep going up the chain and getting more people involved. If you have to, contact your state's Secretary of Education's office.

    Keep everything: names, dates, places of everyone you deal with and names, dates, and descriptions of EVERY bullying incident she endures. If your family has to take her to receive medical or psychological care because of it, save those records and include them too.
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 1:18 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If the teacher did nothing, I would have next gone to the school guidance counselor. With all the publicity that bullying has been getting, most schools do not want incident of that type to get out. If she calls the local news media, I'm fairly certain the school will do everything in their power to make sure it stops, NOW. And to protect my child, you bet I would do it!
    My kids have never faced this issue, but it is imperative as parents that we not stand for that type of behavior!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:20 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Anon, homeschooling is not an option or they'd probably be doing that... although that wouldn't prevent the bully from just picking on a different kid. Also we live in the middle of nowhere, there is only 1 grade school in our town, so she can't switch schools either.
    Koukla12905

    Comment by Koukla12905 (original poster) at 1:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • We already homeschool, but if we didn't I would find a way to do so. No child should have to go through that and the whole every child should learn that people can be cruel and learning to deal with it is a crock. Where as an adult does a person have to accept being harassed, threatened and treated like shit? In the workforce the person would get fired and you can file charges. Someone off the street they could get arrested and go to jail. I would not allow my child to suffer through that. I am so sorry for what your neice is going through and I hope a solution is found soon.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 6:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • if it were my child i would have my ass planted at that principles office door until something was done! but thats just me..
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:35 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

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