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Can people change?

I'm beginning to wonder if men/husbands, ect, can change for the better?

I've been married over 2 years, my hubby used to be the sweetest, kindest, could go on and on, when we were dating and then he proposed and since then every year just seems to get worse. He doesn't really want much to do with my family, only goes to the main holidays or main events ect, he is less interested in spending time with me or doing anything with me for that matter, we had our first child together almost 6 months ago, and I thought that would make him grow up, but instead, he's short with our son, he doesn't help much. His family lives 2 miles away, he goes over there every day if not multiple times in a day. He often talks to his parents on the phone. My sister in law (married to my hubby's brother) is going through the same thing, but according to her side of the story it sounds like it's wayyyyyy worse than my problem. She asks me for advice constantly and I have always told her to keep her head up and keep trying, but I'm beginning to think that this is just the way our hubby's were raised to not respect there wives or enjoy a life together. I used to think we had a ton in common, and I've realized over the last couple years that we don't, he was just pretending to like things until he got comfortable enough to tell me no. What should us lonely sad wives do??? ( I have told him many times that all the things that bug me and he promises to change and well no it doesn't happen and so has she)


Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Yes, most anyone can change.

    However. THEY must want to change.. THEY must put in the effort to change as well.

    One person can not make another change. One person can not make another want to change either.

    In regards to the issues that are going on in your relationship. May I ask.. How old are the two of you? How long have you been together total? How long were you together before you had your child?

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Yes, SOME can.

    Answer by -AJ at 1:27 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Yes, of course people can change. BUT, only when they themselves really want to. No one can make someone else change.

    I think it sounds like you guys need counseling.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Obviously only they can make themselves change..that goes without saying.

    Answer by -AJ at 1:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My hubby was like that too as far as helping out since they are elderly, but with my parents getting sick he finally put his foot down with them and started making boundaries. You guys are young and he sounds like he needs to get away from his security blanket of family and learn to deal as a father and hubby. As your son gets older he will change but he needs to step back. You too get away from sil drama it is not your busines. It kinda makes you get agitated with your own issues.

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 1:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • As others said, yes people can change.... but only if they want to.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 1:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • he's 26, i'm 23, been together 5 years, engaged 1 1/2 married 2 1/2, our child is almost 6 months old

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:44 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • if it was me I'd look to moving away.
    if he wasn't willing to go, then that would be the answer as to how dedicated he was to the marriage.
    keep in mind that it could just mean that he could spend more time texting them and all that if you did more.
    not sure what to tell you,
    I dated a guy like that and ended up leaving because his tie to his mother was ridiculous.
    I'm sure he's still having dinner over there several times a week, women get sick of him.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 2:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • yes they can but only if they want to change.

    Answer by momto4girzls at 2:28 PM on Jan. 18, 2011