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Why is Bullying in School so hard to control?

Kids are so afraid of telling a teacher about bullying.
I have an 11 year old daughter that has been pushed told to suck dick, calling the girls bitches etc...
After she told me I put a stop to it by making the teacher aware of the situation(sent a note).
However this problem started at the beginning of the year. It got worst over time. She tried to ignore it and leave her alone, but i think i was to late by this time.

In my situation the kids that are doing this have been in trouble before, failed a grade or two and clearly already have problems.

I've told her to speak up. When she tried they didn't take it serious. In this day and age even in elementary you gotta watch for the Kids that strive for the wrong kind of attention and hope their parents own a gun!

We should make bullying a manditory class. Put all the bullies in it with a school councelor teaching so we can pin point their problem and get them the help they need before it get any worse.

Just a thought! It would be a win win situation.

Answer Question
 
1happyeverafter

Asked by 1happyeverafter at 2:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 6 (143 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Bullying is NOT just a school issue. The real world is full of bullies! It simply is a fact of life and it CAN'T be controlled unless every child is willing to live in a bubble. It's always been there, it always will be.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Kids have been being bullied since the beginning of time I am sure. I think all we can do is bring it to the schools attention and teach our children how to stick up for those being bullied. If the bully sees people rally around the person being bullied they usually do stop. Right now though kids not involved in being bullied maybe wont say anything because they think the bully will then pick on them. I try and teach my kids to stick up for kids being picked on. I also teach them how to protect themselves. If someone starts it with them, they can end it. I wont punish them for it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Especially in private schools , school administration is afraid of losing tuition so they cater to the bully parents and kids. It is so unprofessional on their part but they also are afraid of law suits so they try to smile in your face and then you know the rest. It is hard for principals because they are stuck inbetween and can not favor one child over another. Then the school board and school superintendent get involved and it becomes so politically agenda based that the whole bully isssue gets pushed to the side.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 2:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Because:

    ~ there is inadequate supervision
    ~ children are expected to police themselves
    ~ teachers and administrators and counselors are as likely to be bullies as anyone else
    ~ a lot of successful bullies go into working in schools because it's an environment they feel successful in
    ~ it takes too long and costs too much to deal with
    ~ denial is lovely this time of year
    ~ the system is intentionally set up to get the rules enforced through social pressure --it is the purpose of group socialization, just as it is in basic training, to stop people thinking for themselves and of themselves and worry about the group and with the group thinks instead
    ~ the overall feeling of most people on the subject is 'only losers are bullied' so they deserve it, and
    ~ over-valuing of 'surviving' it that makes victims feel that it was 'good' for them, so it's necessary (with just a little bit of revenge) for everyone else to deal with it, too
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:08 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My 5th grader's class is currently doing the DARE program which now addresses bullying as well as drugs, but I think a lot of times it's simply because as parents/teachers/adults, we let the behavior escalate before we put a stop to it.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • We can make the school teach things like, drugs, sex ed, and sensetivity training and bullying, but utimatley it is our jobs as parents to teach these to our children to ensure that it is being taught!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Bullying is everywhere. But when it comes to schools, the school officials don't do enough to help keep bullying out of the school. They just don't care enough, or at all, to crack down on bullies - in my opinion.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 3:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • No child should have to go through that, or be afraid to speak out. It is sad, and reading some of the post on here it seems to be getting worse. I do blame the schools since some of them do absolutely nothing about it. I have seen where the bullies have nothing done to them while the one being bullied basically has no other choice but to leave the school. I believe the bullies need for their parents to be involved. Given a warning if it continues then the person/person who are bullying should be expelled. Then it will be up to the parents to seek help for their child who is bullying others. No school should tolerate bullying, and no child should have to be afraid to go to school to learn.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 4:16 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • i worry about the weaker kids that can't handle it killing themselves because of what a bully did to them .embarrassing and humiliation.
    If it ends in death the bullies should be punished reguardless of age.

    Anyway thanks for your answers.
    It's getting so hard to protect our children from anything or anyone these days.
    1happyeverafter

    Comment by 1happyeverafter (original poster) at 4:26 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • having a child that was bullied (in kindergarten no less), it's easy to say that it's the parents responisbility to educated about bullying, but the problem is, most of the kids who are bullies have parents that either teach them that, support it, allow it, or deny it...and then kids like mine, who were taught at home that bullying is bad are the ones who get bullied (my child was being physically bullied). The schools, for many and different reasons, don't do crap. But we send our kids off to school (no, i won't homeschool) and have the RIGHT to expect that our kids are kept safe and from danger. Problem is, parents are not speaking up and out demanding our kids rights to safety. would you put your child in any kind of daycare and find it acceptable that your kid is hurt? No, so why should our school be held to any less standards.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 4:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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