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2 Bumps

about husband

do you really think that you might not be in love with husband when you really are not excited to have sex with him, i love him with alll my heart but i don't really find myself wanting him like i use to. we have had alot of problems in our marriage and we are working on them, but for some reason i kinda feel like our marriage is different, we are not close there is a distance there i think. how do you know if you are really happy in a marriage ? do we just stay i a marriage because we have drawn comfortable and don't want to be alone. i don't know what i would do without him but i really don't know if our marriage is happy. we keep saying we want to work on our marriage but we really don' do anything about it just put it off in the back of our minds . everthing is fine but we don't do anything, just act like our marraige is alright but there is still alot of holes in it but we seem to do nothing but just act like everthing is fine, are we both not happy or what?

Answer Question
 
lisa98450

Asked by lisa98450 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like my marriage to be honest. Have you tried couples counseling? That's what we are doing when he returns from deployment.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I didn't really want to have relations with my (ex) husband. But then we are divorced now so it wasn't really ment to be. I would definatly seek marriage counsaling. If you really love him like a husband.
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 4:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Hi, i can totally see where this is confusing and hard for you. I really think you two should stop considering working on your relationship and DO it! Go to a marriage counsaler try it atleast one time. Have you two sat down and really talked about your differences, likes, dislikes? Maybe its time to get to know eachother all over again. You have to put forth the effort to save your marriage because ignoring it will make it worse, be sure to make you unhappy and def lead to seperation. Once you two communicate things to eachother in an open and honest way then things will make themselves more clear and when it does become clear that doesnt neccassarily mean it will be great. You may find that the two of you are just so different from eachother now and want different things in life. Or you might find that you have been really missing out on your best friend. As far as the whole sex thing goes, it is hard to be into it when
    simonsmama2022

    Answer by simonsmama2022 at 4:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • This is how I feel ..i want to leave I am not happy.We say we are going to work on things yet most things are the same. For us its not working:(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Sounds alot like my marriage.
    Ananomys

    Answer by Ananomys at 4:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • the 2 of you feel so detatched. Once you can emotionally connect again things will be better. Also if you need to and it sounds like you do, you should try switching things up. Surprise him once in awhile, dress yourself up, be seductive and NOT JUST FOR HIM but it will make YOU feel good again. Go on dates and do the things that once made you happy as a couple. Think about the reasons you became his wife and think about all the things that made you say " i want this man for the rest of my life" once you remind yourself and find those things again you will be able to make a clear decision on what it is you feel is the right thing for you and your family. I wish you nothing but the best!
    simonsmama2022

    Answer by simonsmama2022 at 4:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It's okay. It is a part of marriage. Time is hard to do. Marriage is just staying together through the hard time sometimes. Things will pass and you will come onto the other side. We have.

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 4:20 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It sounds like to may not respect him and that is why you don't want to be with him. Try thinking of what
    life would be like without him and maybe that would be your answer.
    PILLOWTALK123

    Answer by PILLOWTALK123 at 6:08 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Set the date tomorrow pick the date and call the councelor. Do not miss the appt that way you will atleast have a date to start working on it. Also try to find one nice thing a day a day to say to each other. We have done that before and it was reallly nice. WE have not problems but right now we have a code word "Pluto" we say it if one of us is raising our voice our taling mean- it has really heped us to prevent arguments from happening.
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:06 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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