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Is it right to take tell my BD that he cant see his kids until he gets his S**t together?

I found out that my BD had been cheating on me since I was pregnant with my second son. All that time he has been secretly bringing my kids around the other women and apparantly has been doing things in front of them that are inapropiate. My oldiest son had told me and thats when I approached their BD about it. He laughed me in face and told me that I was a Dumb b*tch. I told him that its over and that he couldnt see the kids. #1 he is bringing my kids around all these women which are confusing my kids.#2 my kids are thinking that what their BD is doing is okay. #3 who knows what else he is doing around my kids. #4 he is so disrespectful to my kids obviously if he chooses to his party life and other women over his kids. My kids deserve so much better then their loser father. I just want to know that what I am doing is right!

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I am not sure I understand..... what exactly is he doing that's inappropriate other than just bringing them around women he's seeing? Is it like drugs or something?

    Answer by Nanixh at 4:32 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I am going through same thing as you are anon! & IMO I don't feel what you're doing is wrong....why would wou want your kids around someone like that? Feel free to PM me, i need someone to talk to as well, we can vent to each other lol! i actually wish it was legal to push my bd off a cliff =D

    Answer by knicole0708 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I think you should do what you feel is my opinion keeping him away from the kids at this time is the right thing to do because you have to protect your kids from seeing and hearing things they shouldn't. Good Luck..

    Answer by 3beautbabies at 4:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I'll need to know what he is doing that is so inapropriate that you feel the kids shouldn't be around him.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:54 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You are not legally able to keep him away without a court order.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • So he is a crappy boyfriend, how exactly does that make him a crappy BD? He still has the right to see his children. Tell a judge your reasoning for not letting your kids see their daddy and he will loaugh you out of court.

    Answer by Ascott727 at 6:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • do you have any form of a court order? if not then you can do whatever you want. if he wants legal visitations on a regular basis just tell him to go to court. is he having sex infront of the kids or doing drugs? if he has no court order you are in charge. does he pay child support? if not then you are in charge. just do what you feel is right for the children. if he can;t work with him then tell him you will work with attorney. and stick with your words.

    Answer by lambdarose at 6:07 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My BF had the same problem and the judge not only gave him visitation, but he doesn't have to pay child support because he such a big loser that he can't even stay at a job. It isn't even that he is being fired, he is quitting. He decided to get an under the table job and buys drugs rather than paying child support or for clothes or food for his daughter. AND, he lives in a shack in the worst part of town, but the judge just keeps letting him have visitation and my friend has to drive her daughter over there since her "can't afford a car." It is her job to make sure her daughter gets to see her dad. Sometimes the court system with child custody just isn't right. Maybe your situation will work out better, but just because you don't think the situation is fair or right, doesn't mean the courts will agree. I sure hope they do what is right, but chances are they won't see the other women being around kids as a threat. :(

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 6:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Okay they are not YOUR kids... they are HIS kids too. More imp. he's THEIR DAD. THEIR DAD.. seperate from you. Do they love him? Is he putting their lives in danger? If the answer is NO, then yes IMHO you are WRONG. You are looking at it through YOUR emotions, YOUR pain... but the truth is that's its NOT about YOU and his betrayal of YOU... its about THEIR right to have a relationship with THEIR father (and to decide for themselves that he is a loser POS).
    And yup I've been there, my kids have a half-brother born right b/w them... right now their ages are 7 6 5 in May it will be 7 6 6 ... KWIM.
    So I understand your pain and anger... but after quite a few years distance... I'm glad I've never totally forbidden him from their lives... they will never be able to say that I took their father away (and I've kept the paper trail to prove it)... let THEM ultimately see and make that decision.
    I don't say anything - about hm

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 11:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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