Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

need to know how to tll my mother about my unplanned pregnancy read details.

im 17, And me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time, we had plans to have children, but not this early. basically we had just told my mom a week ago that we knew we werent ready to be parents yet, and that we were being safe. Little did i know, I was already pregnant. Since i've found out i have re enrolled in school, got a job, and my boyfriends in college and working. So I'm taking steps towards growing up and im trying to prepare myself because i know this is going to be easy. i just need to know how to tell my mom without devistating her. She was also a teen mother, shes now a single mother of 5. i'm sorry im rambleing, my boyfriend doesnt understand that i need to TALK. And have in depth conversations. plus he's terrified, but is going to tell her with me. please advice

Answer Question

Asked by kendallmb at 5:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would sit her down and just be honest with her, the longer you wait the worse the outcome will be, she'll think you're hiding it if you wait to long. Tell her all the things you are doing to prepare to grow up and prepare for this baby.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Just be honest honestly no matter what she will always love you! It will hurt her more if you prolong telling her & it sounds like you and your boyfriend are taking the correct steps to better your lives & prepare for this child she may be disappointed but i don't think she will look at you any different.


    Answer by Marie_07 at 5:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Just show her that she won't be the one taking care of the baby, and that you both are. If you live with her, then find a place and be on your own. Also tell her that your main focus is this baby and that you have your priorites straight. No going out partying, etc. Everything you do now is what's best for your baby. I don't know how you will actually tell her, but it does sound to me that you're going in the right direction.
    I hope others that post about your question don't put you down, but be prepared for it. I realize you can't change what's happened, and that's why I didn't. Keep your priorities straight and you should be fine.. Also set up a plan for birth control after the baby is born so you can focus on caring for the baby, and providing for him/her. GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I myself had my daughter when i was 17 years old. Since u already are taking steps and getting ready for ur baby, u should just sit ur mom down and be honest tell her. The longer u wait to worse it will be. Just tell her ur pregnant and that u are already planning for this baby and ur furture w/ going to school and that u n ur bf are both working. She might get upset but im sure shell support u and love u no matter what

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 6:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Be honest with your mom.
    And I want to commend you. You sound like a very mature young lady. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I think that, even though you're young, you're going to be just fine. This may not be the ideal situation, but it can work out.
    Good luck. And both of you (you and your boyfriend) STAY IN SCHOOL!!

    Answer by TARARENEE at 6:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • The part that will likely hurt her the most is the idea of you having a harder life and having to grow up too fast. All mothers want better for their daughters than they had for themselves. My advice is to tell her yourself, without the boyfriend, so you can share that time together and she can talk to you openly, honestly, and even cry with you if needed. I don't want to put a negative tone on things, but the reality is you will probably need to plan to take care of the child yourself...without the boyfriend. The odds are not in your favor at 17 (as far as a lasting relationship) but I do hope you are the exception. I'm really not trying to be mean but you should think about worst case scenarios and prepare yourself. If you're prepared you won't be blindsided and lost wondering where to turn. Once that baby is born there will be true love between you and your baby and your baby and your mom. Good luck.

    Answer by bizlady at 6:18 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Hey doll, I was in the same situation, just a year younger. These ladies are right- sit down & tell her what you told us. You were being careful, but you're working to make a good home for the baby. She may surprise you! My parents were upset, of course, but so supportive. My dad (who I was most worried about) told me to hold my head up & not let anyone think less of me, because I was the same person I'd always been. My mom even threw me a baby shower! This will be hard, but you sound mature enough to make it work! It can be done. Send me a friend invite or a PM if you'd like to talk some more, ok? Hugs!


    Answer by KA91 at 6:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Be honest and be sure to take good care of yourself. It will be just as scary for your parents as it is for you, Good Luck.

    Answer by Aries46845 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.