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I am sick of hearing her complain about how the child support is too much for them

I have 2 children with my ex who got remarried last year. We have court ordered child support based on what each of us make. Also, me and my ex each pay half of our kid's activities (2 each) My ex's wife is constantly complaining about how much paying child support hurts them because they just had a twins. She complains to me when I pick up or dropp off my kids and she even complains to my children who are 10 and 7 and tries to make them feel bad saying that they cost too much money. I have also has 2 other children and neither me nor my husband have ever complained about how much the children cost, that is part of having children. I have talked to my ex about it, he says that he understands her frustration because she can't afford as many things for her children because of the child support, I told him she should have thought about before she got pregnant. My kids (both girls) are used as built in baby sitters for the twins, when they come home from the every other weekend visits, they say all they have done all weekend is help with the babies and they don't want to. I called to ask about that and my ex's wife says that while they are in her home, they will do the chores she assigns them as she can't hire someone to come in and help her with the twins because of the child support payments (the only way they could afford that even if they did stop paying child support is if the took the entire child support payment to pay a part time nanny as my ex only pays $835 a month for 2 kids, including his half of the activities.). I told her that she is welcome to ask them to do normal chores for their age: set and clear the table, feed the cats, clean their room, clean their bathroom, but I said they will not be used as her nannies, they are too young to be caring for newborn infants. I just feel like she needs to get over the child support thing,  she new he paid child before they got married, and she chose to marry him and have children, even though they really couldn't afford to especially since she doesn't work. Am I wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (38)
  • She should have took the child support into account before getting married to someone who pays it. She sounds terrible but your ex seems reasonable, can you talk to him about it??
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:56 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Dang. Sounds like a case of the step-witch. I agree, your kids shouldn't be built in babysitters, that's just wrong. Nothing wrong with having reasonable chores but come on, they're 10 and 7 they need to have a normal life like other kids. Tell your ex to grow a pair and stick up for his girls.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 5:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • No your not wrong tell her that you don't think its appropriate for her to be discussing whats going on with you your children, & their father its court ordered she cant do anything to change it if she is so worried about money maybe she should consider getting a job to help with the twins they just had

    Marie_07

    Answer by Marie_07 at 5:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • She needs to just deal with it. She knew how much he paid in child suport when she married him. I'm sure they talked about having chidlren and knew this would be an issue financially. Funny thing is, my ex husbands girlfriend complains about the child support I recieve...but it's only 260 a month for one child...and he doesn't help pay half for anything.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • wow over 800 a month for two kids ages 10 and 7 thats alot of money
    mama2my2boys

    Answer by mama2my2boys at 5:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Well I don't agree with how she treats or talks to YOUR kids.....I can see her point about the money, but then again, she knew what she was getting in to when she married him. But you say "my only pays $835 a month for 2 kids"! My ex-husband pays $25 a MONTH, and he hasn't even paid anything since October!

    Talk to not just your ex-husband but HER as well. Tell them it's uncalled for and unacceptable for her to speak to your kids like that and to use them as a babysitting/maid service. If she feels her and her kids are missing out on things because of the CS he pays then suggest she work from home to make some of her own money, but to stop complaining to you and your kids!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 5:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • you are not wrong at all. you make a good point. she knew he was paying and he should of stessed. and its not your children responsiblity to take care of her children. that is what a stay at home moms do right? i mean why does she need a nanny. i would be very careful because those children are children and if they do soemthing to the newborns they don;t know any better and they will get blamed. i woudl say those girls have to not be babysitters and its not your responisblity to justufiy why he is paying child support and she should not complain. i would discuss this with the father more because its not fair to your children. they need play and be loved and taken care of. they do not have to have grown up responisblities so young. its one thing to help but to do it just because she thinks they cost too much. that is ridiculous. good for you.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 6:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Like you said she should have thought about it before. Before marriage, before getting pregnant.

    Just like you shouldn't have more kids then you can afford you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford them on top of your SO's child support. I don't understand how people think the "new" kids should trump the previous ones.

    Sorry you are going through this and that she is talking to your kids about it!
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • His wife seems to see child support as something to pay if they have the money but if they don't they shouldn't have to pay. See she didn't have maternity insurance, so the pregnancy was very expenisve and they will prob be paying it off for the rest of their lives. That is not my children's fault. I don't mean to sound harsh but my ex shouldn't have gotten married and had children with someone who didn't work when he knew he couldn't support a family on the income he makes after child support
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:02 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • The reason my ex pays so much is because I didn't get a penny from him for 3 years so in addition to paying child support he is also paying off the back child support
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

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