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4 Bumps

just a vent... just learned that my ex left me for is 25 yr w/ no kids

My daughter saw a pic of her and him together on FB. I've cut off all contact w/ him and we only email or text because of our daughter. It is still very difficult for me, we were together for 12 yrs. I just think it is so unfair that men can get a whole new start. Yet we have to buckle up take care of our kids and work 2x as hard. Don't get me wrong I love my children dearly. I am just so angry because I was going to school would have graduated this spring and changed my work status just to finish.....then the truth comes out that he was having an affair with this chick. We've been separated for 5 months and I despise him so much I cant even speak to him. I found out the real jerk his was a selfish, egotistical, liar. I cant wait till I can get back on my feet and finish school. I don't think I can ever trust a man again. He was the last person I thought would have cheated. How can I move on if I can get rid of this anger.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Stop being mad and be glad you go rid of his ass. Even though you are going through a rough patch. You are rid of him. Give your self time to heal. You might want to date in a year or two.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:26 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • end of a relationship ;olethis is just like a death
    you will get over this but first you will go through steps
    1st-deny it all
    2-anger
    anger in its self is not bad, part of process, ise it though, use your anger to better your life
    anger can be a catilyst
    too much and anger is used for revenge etc- not good for you and doesnot bother person directed to
    so some anger is natural, and useful

    sorry you had to go through this, no problemsaying at this time that you will never trust again
    part of the process, if you never have a relationship again, that is ok, but make it because you do not want to have one, not because he spoiled a future of yours

    i ended a relationship were he was keeping a secretlife, i have dated, not against it, but i feel whole without it
    i feel for you..hugs
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • typo
    i have NOT dated
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Don't let him have that kind of control over you, and your life. Keep moving forward, and leave all of that behind. He's obviously not worth crying over anyway. I know you loved him, but you need to love yourself enough to let it go. Once you do that things will start going in the right direction...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 7:34 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • i'm sorry you're going through that, i went through it too, except we weren't married, and who he cheated on me w/ was who i thought was my best friend ''/ it sucks. but in time, things will get better, trust me. (why can't i take my own advice?) I say I would never be able to trust another man, but that's not true. not all men are the same, and it seems like u had a boy, not a man, same for me as well. just dont let ur guard down so easily or fast w/ the man u meet....i hope things get better and ill be praying for the both of us to heal in time! goodluck.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 7:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I understand how hurt & disappointed you must feel. I'm sure it was hard for your dau to see that on FB as well. The best thing you can do for yourself & your dau is to not let this defeat you. Show her what a strong, independent woman can do! Good luck w/ school & with getting your new life on track. *Hugs*
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I'm not trying to upset you but did you really think he was sitting home alone for the past five months? Mine left me with three kids for some teenager. Anger is fine but use that energy in a positive way and make something great of your life. Mine tried to come back bc his young teeny bopper drove him nuts! lol Think Karma. You will be fine. It will take some time but you will be ok
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Thank you all for your comments, I know this is something that will take time to heal. Don't get me wrong I am focused and determined to starting a new life. When my daughter told me that she saw them on FB it just opened up my wounds. I don't want to give him that power absolutely not, its his loss. He gave up on his family because he felt unappreciated and neglected. Excuses, its not like I was out there hanging out partying I was working and attending school to better ourselves. I know eventually I will heal but honestly it hurts more that "my plans" were stalled. When I do get to carry out my plans I will be happy and fulfilled. Looking back I don't regret anything I did because I was doing it for us. He just didn't see it as a positive thing he just felt he was being taken advantage of.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • He will get his and you WILL get yours, yours just might be BETTER than his lol. Stay strong for you and your child and as far as the schooling goes you will and can get it done keep your head up!
    simonsmama2022

    Answer by simonsmama2022 at 1:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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