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2 Bumps

Militry wives and divorce

My husband and I are looking at divorcing, not sure the marriage can be saved...after his repeated visits to strip clubs, spending thousands of dollars doing God only knows. He has been away for 2 months this last time around. He is in one state and I in another. This is about the 3rd time in a year while we were seperated by distance he has wasted money. I just figured it out this time, only to make me wonder about the last times, what he was really doing. Well we have a 2 and a half yr old and a 15m old. The older is and has been affected in the last 6 months by his home and gone again for work.

I am concerned more for the babies than me. How did your kids adjust when the distance was so far away. Many tell me, they are young it will be easier now than when they are older. After all, they are used to him being gone, as he has only been around about 3 or 4 months total the last year. Part of me says to stay with him, only for the kids, but the reality of being miserable with someone isn't fair either. I never thought he was capable of something like this. I just don't understand when he was shoving money down whores thongs he wasn't think....this could buy *Jimmy* the bed he needs, or this could buy *Joey* a bed he is going to need in the next year.... Plus we were to be moving to where he is next week!!! The money for the move was all spent. He is national guard, so we weren't being transfered via active duty orders, he had gotten a civilian contracted job training soldiers.

I am just sad for my babies.

 
2BlondeBabies

Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 9:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,069 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • If you're depressed at what he's doing don't stay with him for the kids. It'll only make you more miserable and depressed if you stay with him. If you've talk to him about those things and he doesn't want to change his ways he doesn't have your feelings in mind at all. He's just being selfish and doing whatever he wants. I say if all options are exhausted like counseling and such get a divorce. There is no use in trying to work on your marriage if he won't. Just being there for your babies and tell them you love them is all you can do unless he comes to his senses. Good luck mama.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 9:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I hate to say it because I am sure your unhappy, do you think anything will change when you are together again? My husband is irresponsible with money too even when he was in Afghanistan he had to be counseled about his spending habits. My husband has spent years coming and going for the National Guard and our kids have made it well and they are secure. I personally would give it one more shot just so I could walk away knowing that I did all I could. Good luck with your choice.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:46 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Kids adjust. Do what you think is right for you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:42 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would wait until you are together to make any final decisions. Don't give up so easily. Me made some very poor choices and wasted quite a bit of money. Marriages have highs and lows and this is obviously a low. Try counseling. We are military and I can relate to hubby being gone quite a bit more than home, I have three little ones and I think that they transition better than I do to the changes and are more resilient then I could ever imagine little ones being.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:43 PM on Jan. 18, 2011