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3 Bumps

when is it ok to date again.

ok i just got out of an abusive marriage. its only been 4 weeks but an old boy friend wants me to go with him. i dono if this is a good idea. he is a great person hard working and loves my kids. what would you do?

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mom034luv

Asked by mom034luv at 9:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If YOU feel ready, there is no reason you should wait. But if you have doubts or think you should wait - then wait... But don't ever think you have to wait because of what others may or may not think...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • You need a rebound and if you feel safe with this guy then that would be wonderful progress for you.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 9:42 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • When YOU are ready. If you don't feel ready..don't jump into it. Just please don't spend more time focusing on getting into a new relationship more than spend time with your kid - an acquaintance of mine is so wrapped up in trying to find a guy to be with that she doesn't put her kid first. Everyone deserves love and to get out and enjoy themselves..but putting your kid on the back burner to do so is NOT ok. Good luck and best wishes.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 9:46 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I waited 2 yrs!
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 9:48 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • If u feel ready to date again then what r ya waiting for? u dont need approval from anyone whats best for u . And plus u can go out on some dates and not be serious thats completely up to u . GL
    Cherriemama831

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 9:49 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My attorney said the day I filed for divorce I could date and I did. My dh shouldn't have used me as a punching bag. I didn't owe him any loyalty once he did that. I didn't feel guilty about going out with someone who finally appreciated me
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Until you have had extensive counselling or at least a year since the last loser you said yes to, it would be a VERY good idea to tell people who might like to date you that you're still wrapped up in how you managed to make such a mess the last time.

    In your position, I believe it would be very, very silly (and dangerous) to jump from the abusive guy to anyone else you might like to put in his place --at least until you find out why he was attractive you, why you stayed after the first punch, and what you're going to do differently in your personal decisions to keep yourself from repeating the pattern.

    Do you trust your taste in men?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:54 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • i was with him for a 11 years and this just started to mrs. linda... the first hit i left and havn't looked back
    mom034luv

    Comment by mom034luv (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • NOPED !!!!!

    General rule is 1 year.........
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:33 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • whenever you feel that u have completely healed from the last relationship.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:11 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

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