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When it comes to jealousy, can a man really just stop?

My husband has always been the jealous type. Through our 12 years of marriage this has been an issue. But in a since I have kinda accepted it. Its not like we argue about it but when we go out, he always thinks that a conversational male has "other intentions". When most of the time I think they are just being friendly. I am a tom boy who can talk sports all day. But he says this year is a new year. He says that he will not be as jealous as he usually is. And although he trusts no man, he does trust me. But already I have seen some flashes of jealousy over little things. I encourage him to keep up with his goal but deep down I wonder can a man really just stop being one way for so long? We have a happy marriage and this is the one area that could get better. But if not I still love him regardless. But it would be nice if the jealousy did decrease. So have you ever known a guy that was one way and changed after so many years?

 
True_Gator_77

Asked by True_Gator_77 at 10:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,803 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • fingers crossedI think after 12 years of behaving one way he's offered to start a new year. That is growth. To first acknowledge that he has a problem is a huge leap torwards change. Jealousy is a terrible emotion, it serves no purpose to anyone.

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 10:44 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • No, jealousy is about insecurity. Its his issue and not about trusting you or other men. It's about fear he's not good enough to keep you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Mine is a bit possessive but he certainly does not tries to control my moves I'm full time working
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 10:43 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My husband has never been the jealous type with me, and has never behaved in a manner to doubt his trust in me. He says he knows I'm attractive and that men are probably thinking it, but that I would not allow anything to happen. However, he has told me that when he was younger he was very much the jealous type. And he saw it ruin a serious relationship he was in. When she finally got sick of it and left him, he spent some time on introspection and realized that she had never given him a reason not to trust her, it was his own insecurity. It took an effort, but he learned to stop thinking that way.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 11:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Ya i think he can do it. He sounds like a cool guy. Do you enjoy his getting jealous? Maybe you shouldn't talk to men so much just to help him out a little?
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • nope mine said the same thing an he is doin it still that's y he alone because every man that comes around he say they want me an all that shit when all along he was cheatin so men play that j roll to throw you off until you get a phone call from his other babymama sayin she still sleepin with him
    quetta669

    Answer by quetta669 at 1:19 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I think if he really wants to & works at it then he can do it. My SO is really jealous. It's not been a problem with us tho. He knows I wouldn't cheat on him anymore then he would cheat on me.
    amy197

    Answer by amy197 at 3:05 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • No, I don't think it's possible, not without counseling to deal with the underlying cause of his jealousy. In my experience it only gets worse until they eventually push you away. However, with counseling I think there's hope.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 8:04 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • No I don't enjoy his jealousy. But am I suppose to walk around mute because of this? We love to play poker and when we do go its predominantly males. Nice guys who most don't have a hidden agenda. They just are making conversation. Thanks everyone for your input. I am going to keep encouraging him and since he has matured alot since we first got married, I think he can change.
    True_Gator_77

    Comment by True_Gator_77 (original poster) at 9:51 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

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