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Would you care of the age difference...and would you keep it a secret?

Once upon a time, my baby sister was 15 dating a 20 year old. My mom was okay with it because she knew the guy. My dad was not even aware of it. My sister and her boyfriend were intimate. I thought we were raised to wait until marriage, but my sister jumped the gun. They were using protection and being careful and all that "responsible" stuff that goes with it. I guess it would be questions...

If you were close to your daughter...and you KNEW the guy...would you let them be intimate if they were careful? Age is a number...but that's still underage.

And...is this something you'd KEEP from your spouse? Would you secretly let your daughter be intimate with an older guy and keep the secret from your spouse?

Answer Question
 
Imortlmommy

Asked by Imortlmommy at 11:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 19 (7,592 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • oh idc if my dd is with a guy one year older, same age or ten years older, at 15 i wouldn't be ok with it at all
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 11:34 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • Every situation is different.  I'm not so sure I would be OKAY with it because I haven't been in that situation yet.  I definitely wouldn't keep it from my husband though, this would be a family discussion.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • My hubby was 18 when I was 15 and we were intimate but my parents didn't know. I want my daughter to feel comfortable talking to me and my husband about it so she doesn't make stupid descions but she's only 2 so I don't wanna worry about that yet lol.
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 11:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • oh heck no on both accounts,(in my mind) first of all whats a 20 year old want with a 15 year old, why isnt the guy in college but hanging around my 15 yr old daughter? No, friends yes, but intimate, no, besides if he "loved her" than he would wait for her and id tell him and her that to their face. As for keeping it a secert from my husband? Husbands dont have to know everything , granted, but thats not exactly something that he should be kept in the dark about. Thats to serious a subject to me, one that has to be discussed with my husband
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 11:38 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • of course id tell him AFTER i chained him to the house ...i dont need my hubby goin to jail to protect his baby girl from some 20 yr old kid LOL
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 11:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • It would really depend on the situation for me...How well do i know the boy? Am I sure that they are being responsible? What is my dd like? But no matter what I would NEVER keep it from dh

    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 11:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • i speak from experience ....no i would put a stop to her seeing the guy. my very first bf was 18 when i started seeing him he was my older brothers best friend. i was 12. YES i said 12. i did end up being intamate with him when i was 13 and him 19. at the time it didnt seem to matter. but now i see what that guy did to me was wrong. i knew nothing about sex. i mean i knew what it was but that was it. and he was already out of highschool i was only in 7th grade. the first time he stuck my hand down his pants and it scared me. i didnt know what to do. altho we did date for over a year and a half it was wrong. my dad tried to put a stop to it but my bro and mom let it happen. i thought i loved him but i was way too young to know what love was. it should not be kept a secret from her dad. and the relationship could prove distructive. maybe not now. but when she gets older she will regret it.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 11:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would never keep something like that from my husband, she's his daughter too and he deserves to know. I think that age really does matter when you're talking about a 15 year old child, why would a 20 year old want to date a 15 year old child anyway?
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 11:49 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • 20 yr old with a 15 yr old girl not happening..... I would tell DH so he could go and get the bail money ready as I went to chat with the 20 yr old.


    I think if the ages where a little closer I would put some thought into it like when shes 17 and you run a bigger risk of her turning 18 soon I still wouldn't like it though. But those 5 years between 15 and 20 is a lot.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 11:53 PM on Jan. 18, 2011

  • I would put a stop to it immediately. The maturity level of a 15 year old is not even close to that of a 20 year old. I would have serious questions about any 20 year old wanting a relationship with a child.

    I would also have a serious conversation about the consequences of intimicy between a 15 year old and a 20 year old, namely, the high probability of a statutory rape charge and a requirement that the adult register as a sex offender for the rest of their life.

    I do not keep secrets from my spouse, except what I get him for Christmas and his birthday. When it comes to our kids... nope...not even gonna try to keep that one secret.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:03 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

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