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3 Bumps

Do you think that I over reacted and possibly ruined what could have been a great relationship?

I met someone on E-Harmony about 3 weeks ago. I had never done anything like that before and was not expecting to meet a man that I just "click" with. We have so much in common its scary. We live 5 min away from each other. We met in person 1 week ago and have spent 4 days together since. I would really appreciate any advice/opinions about this please. Also,he is 39 and I am 35.
The first date that we met face-to-face was at a very nice restaurant for lunch. We stayed for about 2 hrs,the conversation seemed to just flow,I cant explain it.The downside to this date was that during our lunch his cell phone rang at least 3 times,he answered and talked to all 3 callers. Later that evening he called and I told him that I thought it was disrespectful to continually answer the phone while on a first date. He has been great at not doing that since.

Last night,we are watching a movie at his home(weve kissed no more than twice,nothing more) and his cell phone began ringing,it was almost 10:30 p.m he did not answer the phone. I had been there anout an hour at the time,and began to feel uneasy because I felt that it wasnt business related at that time and that he didnt want to answer it for another reason. Shortly afterwards I told him I had to go and within 5 min he texted saying what was wrong. I responded that It was late for business calls and that he should have taken the call. He responded that it was his daughter and that he cant win with me,if he does or does not answer the phone. Text messages went back and forth with me all but saying that I didnt believe thats who was calling.
He responded with"I have some issues that I need to work on before any decent man would want to be with me,and that he deserves better." I texted back that he would regret his selection of poor choice.He then said not to text again b/c he would just delete them without reading them. That was very hurtful to me to hear him speak to me that way,its like I had really never known him at all. So,I would just like to get some input of others and like to see if I handled this the complete wrong way,even though I feel like what he said was totally disrespectful.Thank you.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 19, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Well you did pull the jealousy and accusation card a little early.  I wouldn't say that you need help, just don't pull that card so soon lol.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:52 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • wow.....answer the phone don't answer the phone. He is right, he can't win with you. I would apologize and try to work on the jealousy thing....

    Answer by Wrain44 at 9:58 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I feel so sorry for him.....
    You asked him not to answer the phone, it's disrespectful. He doesn't answer the phone, and that's worse?
    The world doesn't stop at the end of business hours. I've had business calls at all hours of hte day and night. Anything can go wrong at any time, and business still goes on at 10:30pm.

    I wouldn't want to hear from you again either... You asked him nicely to do something, and he did it. You then said you didn't believe him and you don't trust him..... for doing exactly what you asked him to do.

    You need to grow up and realise that other people have lives. Children call at 10:30 to ask where to get sushi. Businesses call at 10:30 to see if you know a contacts number, of could you arrange a business suite.....

    The world doesn't stop, realise that.

    Answer by Piskie at 10:00 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Poor guy didn't stand a chance with you. He respected your wishes of not looking at his phone when you're around then you break up with him for...NOT looking at the phone!
    I think you may have damaged a possibly great relationship.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:06 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • For only knowing him 3 weeks, that's a little early to be accusing him, and acting jealous. Daughter or not, you shouldn't have said you don't believe that's who was calling. Accusing will get you no where, besides a kick out the door =( (sorry if i seem harsh, but i went through the same thing) I would apologize to him for your actions, and leave it at that. I highly doubt he's just going to delete the messages without reading them, everyone's curious as to what a text says LOL. And after you send it (if you do) then let him take further action. If he doesn't want to accept your apology, then that's his loss. I think he was disrespectful in the sense of answering calls while at lunch, but business is business and sometimes u HAVE to answer. as far as when u were at his house, he has no control over when his phone rings...its a matter of if he answers it or not, and whose caling when he does answer. family comes first. GL!!!

    Answer by knicole0708 at 9:59 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • not a good match and maybe next time you meet someone you can discuss what quirks you have..that way they wont do stuff like that

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:01 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Yah he was right, I guess if you want to try again, you could apologize but get rid of the jealousy thing. He hasn't done anything to you for you to not trust him.

    Answer by choco_mom at 10:14 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Poor guy! He tried to please you but you went a little psycho on him.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:15 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I think you just need to let the whole thing go. It may be that you have some issues you need to work on before you are ready to form a relationship. It may also be that he needs to do the same thing. At any rate, I would just take this as meaning this one is not to be. And I would be very thankful that I found it out so quickly and didn't waste any more time or emotion on it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:53 AM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • ummm and you only knew him for 3 weeks? please remember that he does have a life before you and just because you have a date doesnt mean you get to be so controling what if it is really his daughter?!?! RELAX! and you never said that you were exclusive so if it was another one he was dating he was just being respectful not to talk to themwhen he was with you

    Answer by rebeccadac at 10:16 AM on Jan. 19, 2011