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Do you use physical punishment (spanking, popping, etc.) on your child/children? If you don't, do you catch flack from friends and family for "not disciplining enough/correctly"?

I have 2 boys and honestly...spanking is just not for me....my brother who believes heavily in "corporal punishment" and spanks all his 4 of his children (6 and under) and has practically sincethey were born, believes I am just too easy on m children. They are rough and tumble boys, but very respectful and "know" to behave wherever we are out and about! i don't receive complaints from school or strangers but my family thinks i am letting them be "soft" because i do't spank!

Answer Question
 
2boyz2pray4

Asked by 2boyz2pray4 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,014 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Whether someone chooses to spank or whatever else is their own business.  Just as you choosing not to is yours.  Every family is different and hopefully does what works for them.  If this works for you and YOU don't feel like you are too easy on them that is all that matters.  He should mind his own business and respect yours.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:53 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I slap my daughters hands if she continues a behavior that I have asked her to stop several times, like hitting me or playing with a plug, or breaking a book on purpose.
    I have spanked her once or twice for trying to hurt me intentionally, or some other major offense.

    My husband doesn't want me to. That's too bad as far as I'm concerned. I'm not really hurting her, and she's learning that things have consequences.

    I would never beat up my kid like I have seen some parents do. And I would never tell a parent that they are not disciplining their kid enough for not spanking them. That is a very personal decision.
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I say it doesn't matter what others think. Sounds like your brother has gone over the top.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I issue the punishment in accordance with the 'offence'. Some things deserve a spank, some deserve a time out, some deserve some time in her room by herself. None of my family tells me anything anymore. DH and I made it clear a long time ago that we are the parents and we will be punishing and raising our kids the way we want. And if we need advice, we will ask.
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • my mother in law and my husband both agree that i am too soft with our 3 girls. when the reality of it is, they just dont ever do anything bad enough to warrant a spank. the only time i will spank them is if they are doing something dangerous. time out and re-direction always works for them. they dont misbehave in public, they are very polite and much more polite than some other kids i know (always say their pleases and thank you's), and the only trouble they really get into is fighting with eachother over toys. my oldest, 4, goes to school and i never receive any complaints that she misbehaved. so whatever im doing or not doing.. im obviously doing or not doing it right.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Oh and yes I have spanked. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I do not believe in spanking. Our 3 year old gets time outs, but rarely, she's really, very well behaved. Nope, our friends don't say anything. They know better, our daughter, our rules.
    desyk90

    Answer by desyk90 at 12:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • It doesn't matter how you discipline, you will get flak for it. I had 3 boys, and also couldn't spank my kids. I just wasn't comfortable hitting them. I don't criticize those who do, I just know it's not the right thing for me.

    I actually had a friend buy me a "wacker" from her church, to spank my boys with. Well, all three of my boys are adults. They are all very polite, well mannered young men. In fact, two of them were selected to be mentors in junior high school for "at risk" kids, because of their behavior and manners.....imagine that, and I didn't even spank them!!

    On the other side, I have a number of friends who did spank, and got flak for being abusive parents, and I don't think any of them were abusive.

    So, do what is right for you, and tell your brother you respect his right to choose how to discipline his children, and you'd appreciate it, if he'd respect your right to do the same.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I get shit for not spanking my children over every little thing. I do spank them but as last resort. I keep getting told that children need a good beat down to learn to listen, it baffles me some people think that. Funny most of the people that say that don't even have children.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • And I also don't believe that not spanking a child is making them "soft".  That says that spanking a child makes them "hard".  In my house spanking is about discipline.  If one of my children does something they know they aren't suppose to then they get spanked.  Something new, they get told no.  For us this works but to say that your children are "soft" because you don't spank them is ridiculous.  I have been told "you don't spank enough", "your too hard on them".  Period point blank these are my children and I do what works for us.  You are doing the right thing for your family and that is all that matters.  Sorry, had to come back, it irked me that your brother would say that to you, lol.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:08 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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