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When and how did you tell your child about the birds and bees? adult content

We think our 8 year old son is ready. We are considering that maybe our 6 year old daughter is ready, too --but I don't know. I learned the facts from a friend at age 5 and my dh thinks that if we don't talk to them soon, they're going to get it from someone else. What do you think? Any advice? Anyone who's BTDT? Good ways to phrase it? Thanks.

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charlottej

Asked by charlottej at 1:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,283 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Yes, we started at the end of age 8, we believe too that it is better information coming from us than the school bus for instance.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • We have started since birth but just recently had an in depth discussion with our 7 yo DD and a lesser discussion with our 6 yo DD. We got a book from the library on what is age appropriate to tell them.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 1:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • my oldest is 6 .... I am undecided as of yet. So far we just talk about privacy, private parts, etc. My mom (and dad) never had a talk w/ me since I already knew everything from books. I ended up with questions that took years to get answered.... I wanna make sure my kiddos don't feel the same. If it hasn't come up by like 4th grade I'll have a formal sit down.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • We started by asking a few questions to find out how much/what he knew, and what he had heard, or had questions about. He has a lot of friends with older siblings, so I was pleasantly surprised to find out he knew less than I thought he did. However, he had a lot of questions, particularly related to the word "gay" (which is thrown around at school apparently) and the word "sex." So we addressed it.

    The main focus of our talk was about internet safety, and how information can go anywhere...to anyone. We addressed the subject of bad people that are on certain sites and why he needs to never use the web without permission even at a friend's house. We were frank about what could happen, how bad people/predators lure children, etc..

    Then we also addressed touching when and where and what is appropriate or not...

    ..and that was about it. Hard to believe how young now and the topics we have to cover to keep them safe. *Sigh*
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:34 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I answered their questions along as they asked, but it was at 8 and 9 that I had the "big" talk with them about menstrual cycles, sex, etc. We included things about respect for their bodies and respect for other's bodies along with that.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • when they come to me and ask the age old question "mommy, where do babies come from?" i will answer the questions appropriately as they come. my oldest is 4 and nothing yet. even during my pregnancies with her sisters she wasn't curious or baffled as to how i got a baby inside of me. she was only curious how they came out, and i told her the truth, that the doctor had to cut my stomach but that i was ok (her sisters were cesareans). i think i was about 8 when i asked my mom.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:49 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • In our household, it is an ongoing discussion. My 4 year old knows the difference between boys/girls, using correct terms. We have had the good touch/bad touch talk as well.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 2:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I think that is a personal choice for each parent and each child. My 7 year old son knows a little about the birds and the bees. He doesn't know all of the physcial aspects of it. But he does know that a man and woman make a baby. He knows that babies come from your tummy. And he has watched some pregnancy shows with me (he is VERY mature and grown up for his age). He has seen babies born by natural birth and c-section (on tv). I allow him to know these things because he is so mature. I wouldn't suggest letting every 7 year old know the same things because each child is different. But if you believe your children are mature enough to know some or all of the information about the birds and the bees- then go ahead and tell them. Everyone is going to have a oppinion on if they are ready or not. But you are the parent and get to make that decision. =) Blessings
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 2:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I am dreading it. My parents never gave me that talk I learned from friends. My husband bless his heart caught his parents in the act one christmas day when he was 8. He asked his mom if sex was when two people join at the privates and bounced? He couldn't remember what they she said
    1911

    Answer by 1911 at 2:53 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • They "join at the privates and bounce"??? I LOVE IT!! I wonder if his mom busted out laughing...

    Sorry, my son is still very young, so no BTDT advice. But I can say that I plan on just discusing things honestly as they come up based on how much I think he can actually understand. The whole topic was completely taboo in my house while growing up, so I was confused and embarrased of a lot for a long time. I want my son to understand the truth and to not be afraid or ashamed of anything.
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 3:45 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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