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How would you feel?

Ok me and the MIL dont really get along but we do for my kids. I have a 2yr who adores her. and a 10m old who barely knows her but when she is around she likes her. and i have another on the way.
We live 2hrs away from eachother so we only see her once a month. Well my BIL just moved to NC because he joined the Marines and that is were he is stationed. He got married a few months ago. When they lived here in GA they dnt pay any bills or even their own food because MIL has money and they lived with her. So they just use her.
(CONT.)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Nov. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • (CONT.)
    We has kids and dont live with her bu yet she goes to NC every weekend to see them and she is even moving there in 6m and is going to buy a house and et them live there for free. They donlik her either theysay horrible things to her they just want a free ride.
    What my problem is is that she is going to move up there with them when they just want to use her an leave our kids. They dont have kids. My BIL hates kids he wouldnt even let his wife change a diaper for my kids when my MIL would keep them. It just make me sad because I know what its like not to have grandparents mine live in Minn. or died when i was 3. I just want them to have her around. Am i wrong to feel this way?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Sounds like your a bit outraged at the injustice of your MIL giving an ungratefull kid everything even when he dosnt deserve it. That or your jealous you and your hubby are not getting financial help. Either way your feelings are valid. But try not to focous on things you have No controll over. It will only drive you up the wall. Your MIL will either see the light someday, or she wont, either way it's her life and her money. Let her make her own decisions.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:27 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I dont want her money. We take care of our kids fine without her help. I think it is rude for my BIL to do that.
    Plus I would like for her to be in my kids life more and I feel like ifshe moves up there she will be here less.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I can see why it would upset you but it is your MIL choice. Maybe she doesn't want to have to help with the kids. I'm not trying to say she doesn't care about them but sometimes when people are done raising their kids they want to try new things. Or maybe she just decided she really likes NC.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I didnt say anything about her helping with my kids. I said i wanted to be in their life more. Tha doesnt mean i want her to pay for things or TAKE CARE of MY kids. She doesnt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • If your children are not much of a priority in her life, then I say be happy she's going. It's her decision, and your kids are better off surrounded by people who want to be around them. It's wrong for MIL to treat her children differently and favor BIL, but it really sounds like you're all better off without her.
    BIL is acting like a spoiled child, and MIL has made him that way. They deserve eachother. It may be hard to see now, but you and your husband are probably more lucky in this situation that you think.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • I don't think you are wrong to feel this way, but I think it would be best to talk to your husband about your feelings and maybe have the two of you talk to you MIL about your feelings. Maybe she will reconsider moving. If she doesn't, then I am sorry. But you can always try doing something special when she does come to visit to make things more memorable for the children.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:29 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

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