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3 Bumps

Problems with my in-laws

My husband is currently deployed and will be until Aug. This is the first time we have been apart this long since we met. When we first told my in-laws that he was getting deployed they were very supportive of us. Telling me that if I needed to I could come and stay with them (I moved back in with my parents). When my husband left for training I went and seen them. I vented to my mil bout some stuff that was going on at home with my parents. She listened and told me that if I needed I could stay with them for sometime. When I got home that night my mother informed me that my mil had called and wanted to talk to my mom bout the stuff that I had said to her. She totally turned everything that I said to her around to make it seem like I was unhappy in my marriage and that I was trying to hook up with a guy friend who had been back to visti that weekend. Since then I had talked to her once when my husband was back before going over seas. They did not invite me to Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have tried to make contact with them and have gotten nothing back.
My question is how much more do I do?? I want to remind them that I will still be married to thier son when he gets home. And he has made it very clear that he will pick me over his family. I don't want it to get to that but I can't live with a family that treats me like shit.. What would you do??

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jenlou9686

Asked by jenlou9686 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (445 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • How did she come up with that stuff? Was the conversation not clear?

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 4:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • For now leave it alone I think and in the future dont vent ANYTHING to your MIL sounds like she wants to start trouble
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 4:37 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • It was all just venting bout trying to get use to living with my parents, maybe selling our extra car, hating my job, going out with friends. It was all just vents.
    jenlou9686

    Comment by jenlou9686 (original poster) at 4:38 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • come join my group,,,, mother in law support group, we would love to have you!
    gardenchic

    Answer by gardenchic at 4:38 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • TALK TRY YOUR BEST IT DOES NOT WORK KEEP THEM FAR AWAY IN ALL OPPORTUNITIES HANG THERE LUCK
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 4:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Its up to them to apologize to you and mend your relationship with them. IF a grandchild is involved then you need to inform them that they need to be civil if they want to see your child. She seems like a kook that is playing mind games. Ignore her
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:40 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I would let it go people like this make trouble for others because they have no life of their own to mind. You know the type they pretend to be all nice to your face but once your back is turned its over. Let them go I would tell em to kick rocks but don't do that unless you want to really start a fight let them go and move on.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:40 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I think you should just go there or try to get MIL to go to lunch. Tell her you spoke with your mom and their has clearly been a misunderstanding. You were venting, you are in love with your husband, you dont want to leave things awkward with her and you are sorry if you said something that lead her to think anything serious was going on. Then in the future dont tell her anything.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:42 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I would make sure that she understood the conversation before jumping to conclusions.  If she isn't answering the phone then leave a message.  If she won't return your calls write a letter.  After that, you have done everything you can to get the relationship right and if she doesn't accept that then that's not your problem any longer. Not telling you what to do, just stating what I would do,

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 4:42 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • IF She wont answer your calls so you can get this worked out, then send her a very detailed letter, chances are she will read it! I would say everything I needed to get out in that letter and dont miss a "beat", then when your husband does come back and you still haven't heard anything, I'd have him relay the message. I can't emagine her motive for doing that, I'd be really upset too! It's great your husband stands by you, best of luck!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 4:44 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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