Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How do you transition?

This is my 1st child, however its my husbands 2nd. I have a wonderful stepdaughter that I love more than anything. Her mom is also pregnant and know how she treats her. I am wondering how I can make sure the transition with the new baby in the house, my step daughter doesn't feel neglected here. I know that she is going to feel that way at her moms because its always been that way. I just do not want her to feel as if she is not important or does not matter. I want to do this in a way where she understands she is now a big sister and not a piece of furniture that may be in the way. Any suggestions or thoughts on this??

Answer Question

Asked by annabelle092810 at 5:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 17 (3,668 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • to hear how you feel, says that you won't let her not be part of the family.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:58 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • how old is she?

    Answer by boobarandbell at 6:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • First things first TALK TO HER!! Even though she is is 3-4, she will understand if you remind her everyday, talk about the coming baby, let her help in some decision making...children LOVE to be involved in making decisions about things that affect their lives. Ask her to help you pick things out etc. Talk to her about how important big sisters are. When baby comes, you can let her feed the baby (with your help of course!), bathe baby, read stories to baby.. all kinds of things! This way, she will feel like she is teaching baby something, which in turn makes her feel very important. The fact that you are letting her help with decisions and just being involved in the baby will make her know that she is a valued part of your family. I work in a preschool and study early childhood development :) It sounds like you already care enough to want her to feel special, so I am sure everything will work out wonderfully!

    Answer by Tarrar at 6:03 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • She is 4

    Comment by annabelle092810 (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Make sure Dad and you spend one on one time with her when the baby comes. Have her be your helper as mentioned before. Tell her you will do X because she is a big girl and babies can't do that. That is some of the best advice I got when our second came along so our first didn't feel replaced. There are some really cute books out there about being a big sister too. GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 7:18 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I would say there is not much you can do about how she is at her moms. All you can do is make sure that she knows how much you love her (and her dad). And that she can come talk to you about anything. Sometimes kids don't think they can talk to adults about their feelings and this is definatly something that she should feel comfortable talking to you about. Blessings

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 5:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.