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How do you deal with nurses who make you feel like a bad mom because your baby is in the nicu an hour away from home?

My son was born at 27 weeks and was sent to st marys hospital in west palm beach. thats an hour away from home, and its hard for us to visit more than once a week

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GinaIsExtreme

Asked by GinaIsExtreme at 3:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • I know how you feel. My son was 26 1/2 weeks. But we were Blessed that he was not far. Even some of the few days when we were unable to make it and they ask you are you coming in. It makes you feel bad. I think it's more of you than them. Continue to pray about it and know in your heart that you love your child more than they can ever know.
    DjMom1129

    Answer by DjMom1129 at 3:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • All six of mine were preemies. The more I had at home the less time I could visit with which ever child was in the NICU. I remember crying from the guilt but don't let the nurses get you down. Just try your best to get there as often as you can and spend as much time with your little one as possible. He will be home before you know it!
    bus-e-momof6

    Answer by bus-e-momof6 at 3:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I feel for you. My daughter was a 26 weeker and she split her time between two different hospitals. Both were more than 45 minutes away. I couldn't drive for six weeks and my husband is away for work for 14 hours a day. There's only so much you can do!

    You can explain to them that you're doing the best you can under the circumstances. If gas money is an issue, ask the social worker about SSI for your son. You get about $30/month while he's in the NICU. Every little bit helps. On the days that you can't be there, at least call and get updates. We were encouraged to call whenever we wanted to. Is there a Ronald McDonald house near the hospital? You can always stay there temporarily.

    Good luck with your little one. Feel free to send me a message if you need somebody to talk to. I know just what you're going through.
    lovinmystar

    Answer by lovinmystar at 3:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Sweetie I just got threw fighting a similar battle with nicu nurses. My daughter Mackenzie was a 23 weeker and so she was in the hospitals nicu from january 7th - may 20th. Now I will say that I didnt live an hour away in fact i was only about 20 minutes away. But non the less the nurses just couldnt seem to wrap there mind around the idea that I had other resposiablites cleaning , cooking , shopping and trying to prepare for a baby that was not due for 4 more months plus on top of all this stress I had NO CAR!! I moved to Oklahoma a year ago still I don't have family here to help me and my husband works 60-70 hrs. a week so I really had no help. Stay strong you will get threw this and they will just have to deal with reality. You have just had a very stressful event happen and now you are preparing and not to metion GAS PRICES!!
    mommy_kenzie

    Answer by mommy_kenzie at 4:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I know it's hard, but you just have to ignore them. I stayed in a Ronald McDonald house part time while my son was in the NICU. And I wasn't there everyday. Towards the end of his stay I ended up staying there on weekends and going home during the week. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted my baby, but the NICU was too stressful. Mentally, I couldn't be there all the time and financially I couldn't just drive back and forth every day. It's not ideal but it was what worked for us.

    You are doing the best you can - which is all that matters. Now if they are being inappropriate I would definitely report them.
    sjanel

    Answer by sjanel at 9:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • My daughter was born full-term. However, she was born with a condition called Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. This meant that she needed surgery and also had other complications, meaning a stay in the NICU.
    She's over two months old now and still there. She's recovering but I still have NO idea when she'll be home. The hospital that she's in is about 40 mins away. I haven't been able to go every day. My car isn't reliable enough and sometimes, I can't afford to. It KILLS ME. Everytime the nurses ask "are you gonna make it in today?"I feel guilty and I don't know what to say.
    I feel horrible. I feel like my daughter knows if I'm not there. Then, last week, one of her occupational therapists said "when you're not here, she misses you." That didn't help. I feel like a bad mother..but it's out of my control. I HATE IT! I guess I can't really answer you..but I can sympathize with you...it's really difficult.
    Bubbles318

    Answer by Bubbles318 at 7:31 PM on May. 25, 2009

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