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Would you think I was a bad mother if.....

Would you think I was a bad mother if I didn't get my daughter anything for Christmas? She's been so bad and she also has bad gtrades. When school started I told her that if she doesn't bring home any A's and B's then no toys. Her grades are horrible and I'm tired of spending the whole evening reteaching what she should have payed attention to and learned in class.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (17)
  • Well, asking a child to bring home A's and B's is a little harsh in itself. If she gives the best she can and does the best she can and gets a C or D, then you can't fault her for that.What if the teacher isn't all that great in reality and she can't learn. Why is she being bad, as you say, what grade is she in?If you are having to reteach her, its time for a conference with her teacher.Punishing her for something like that is wrong, IMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Well, I wouldn't say you were a bad mother. Maybe she'll get her act together after she sees that you wer serious. So do as you said, no toys... just get her things she needs... clothes, shoes, things for school. Do try to look further into why she gets bad grades. Maybe she's having some trouble that needs extra attention.

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 3:54 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Maybe instead of toys just get her learning materials and maybe some clothes.

    Answer by sbastille at 3:55 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Well, this raises red flags for me because I wonder if the teacher sucks at doing her job or if your daughter has some type of learning disability. Don't be too hard on her. Christmas is about geting together with the ones you love and sharing's almost like you're taking away your love for her because she's getting poor grades. I would definately set up a conference with the teacher and have a heart to heart with your daughter about the different things that could be going wrong right now. It could be something as small as needing her eyes checked, you just never know!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 3:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Perhaps she is having problems in school like a bully or attention problems or something like that? I bet that if is getting the material while at home with you, there is something going on at the school that she is uncomfortable with that is causing her problems. I think you should talk to the teacher and perhaps the principal to determine what is happening . Also, talk to her!!! There is something underneath it all. And I think that if later on you can determine she is doing her best in school then you can't really expect her to do anymore.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • My daughter is doing bad in school as well, but just found out that she probably has a learning disability. I agree with sbastille. Get her stuff she needs. If she is being bad in general then I would think wisely on what you get her. Do remember if she still believes in Santa maybe she should get a warning letter from Santa about her TUDE! LOL

    Answer by ljlM at 4:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Christmas is actually a time to be with your loved ones, and is commercialzed with the giving of gifts. I don't think gifts are exactly necessary on Christmas. So to say you are "taking away your love" by not giving a child gifts sounds a bit off to me. What about those parents that can't afford gifts for their children? So what, they don't love their kids, because they can't provide gifts for them? I do agree, as I said, that maybe she's having trouble in school and needs a bit more attention. Try to figure out why she is getting bad grades.. and maybe the conflict over her getting bad grades is what's causing her to act out... if you don't get her any toys.

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 4:07 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • forgot a bunch of words on the last line... I mean to say that I still don't think you'd be a bad mom by not getting her toys.

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 4:09 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • You should get her clothing or books or something of that nature that she needs and perhaps not the things that she wants. However, I would talk to her teacher and her before making that decision.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:14 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

  • Yes, I would! Maybe she has a learning disability or ADHD or some other problem!! Talk to her teachers! Ask what nneds to be done to bring up her grades and what does she recommend. My kids all have subjects that they are good in and subjects that they struggle with. If the teacher says they are giving the class their best effort then I am happy no matter what the grade. I have discovered that a GOOD teacher can make all the difference!!

    Answer by amydh at 4:22 PM on Nov. 13, 2008

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