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I need to talk to my 11 yr. old about having a menstrual cycle, sex and boys.

She's going to middle school and I have yet to talk with her. I think fear that it may make her attitude worse than what it already is. All of her friends have started and she's like the last one. they've had classes at school and i wish they had sent something home to let me know that way i wouldn't have allowed her to go. i wanted to be the one to introduce it to her. for the information you receive at school isn't always correct or age appropriate. so now i have to go behind them and her friends to give her correct and necessary information. not that i want to sugarcoat anything, but as a parent it's my job to teach her to wait, to train her properly and when she is older it will then be her decision to use what i have given her or not.

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VirtuousMom4

Asked by VirtuousMom4 at 3:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • things are different now- I have two stepdaughters and they knew about sex and periods when they were like 7 and 8! t is better for you to tell her and her feel like she can ask you anything rather than ask a friend or someone who she thinks will tell her the truth and not be embarassed--let her know it is nothing to be ashamed of it is a fact of life and not having your period is a good thing because it will be a pain in your rump for the better part of your life so what is the rush? Also tell her about diseases, pregnancy and just being used for sex to scare her away-- there will be plenty of time for sex when she is old enough to handle the responsibility that comes with it and make wise decisions about who she chooses for a partner. just open that door with her so that you can communicate what you know and she can come to you for advice instead of a friend who doesn't know anything either, she probably already knows a lot more than you are aware of but may be misinformed
    akayday

    Answer by akayday at 3:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I don't really see a question here, but I would say I am surprised they had the "conversation" without sending home info first. I know my dtr's school did and i thought most did so you could opt out. Plus they sent home all the info afterward and none of it was inappropriate. I'm a little surprised you waited this long because many girls are starting their periods by 10 or 11. There are many good books out there that you could give her to read or read together.
    My daughter has just recently finished reading a few. They are Christian based books but I know there are other books out there too. She liked Faithgirlz' Body Talk or The Body Book both by Nancy Rue. They're contemporary and interactive, with questions, quizzes, etc. Another good one is Bloom by Michael Ross.However, Bloom discusses lots of different issues about growing up, including abstinence if that's what you're looking for.
    Good luck with your talk and I suggest you do it soon.
    mnews

    Answer by mnews at 3:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I can assure you information was sent home, but whether you got it or not was up to your daughter. Just sit her down and ask her what her friends/school told her and correct it from there. You can do it mama!
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 6:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I know in the state of CA legally they have to notify the parents when sex eduacation will be happening. There have to be consent forms signed and all the works...
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 6:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I'm sure they did send something home... she may have not given it to you though.

    By now, she has a good idea of where babies come from and what is happening to her body. She also has a lot of bad information and she probably thinks you can't or won't talk to her. Not a good situation for the teen years.

    You need to sit down with her and answer all of her questions in an honest, non-judgmental way. Let her know what your beliefs are, tell her why you feel that way. I'd also suggest some age appropriate books on her body and on sex. Then let her know that if she has any questions about what's in the books, you will help her find the answers. Let her know that most of what her friends tell her is made-up because they don't know the truth either and are afraid of anyone finding out that they don't know.

    You need to establish yourself as someone she knows will always tell her the truth without jumping all over her or she will not come to you whe
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:30 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • There are some great books out there that may help. My daughter started her period when she was 10, at the end of fifth grade. I would do it asap...
    Preciv

    Answer by Preciv at 5:13 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

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