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I hate when people assume they know the best for you and your life...

One example:
I was planning on breastfeeding my twins and one of my friends said "oh no, don't do that....it's too much stress"
...another time I was hanging around the same friend and she was commenting on how long my hair was....she then proceeded to tell me that I needed to cut it because there's no way I could handle that amount of hair and a newborn?
This friend does this sort of thing all the time. It's driving me crazy. I feel like she's the kind of person that would get her feelings hurt if I said anything about it. I really hate being told what to do....am I being too defensive about it? It's just kinda annoying when people make a statement like that's the only way to go...
What should I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I totally know what you are talking about!!! I know so many people like this, negative negative negative!!! My opinion is, you can't just not say anything. You will end up holding it all in untill you expolode. I may be a bit judgemental, but I don't think she's just trying to help. Misery loves company, she's saying things to try to bring you down. I don't want people like that around me. My mom was like that, I had a talk with her about it and she has gotten so much better!! For your friend, if you can't find a way to tell her, and point it out everytime, like maybe have a code word to say that lets her know she is being negative or bursting your bubble, I would just not hang out with her as much. I know you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you can't have her sucking all your energy either. You will also become like her the more you hang out with her, trust me I know! Good luck!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Just ignore it. She's just trying to be helpful. It's not like you have to do what she tells you. ANd who knows...one day she may give you useful advice!
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 10:19 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Just ignore them. You're their mommy, only you know what;s best for your kids.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:21 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Smile, say thank you, then ignore them and do what you want! lol. It's what I do. I'm pregnant and I get A LOT of annoying advice.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • no you aren't too defensive. hopefully she's not like someone I knew. you kept giving me all this advice, and when it was obvious I was ignoring her, she got very upset, then started going behind my back telling lies and doing things to try and make things happen the way she thought they should be.

    I'd talk to your friend that would like the advice to stop, and if she doesn't, I would cut the ties.

    some people have real issues with this sort of thing.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • your choices your life... do what is going to make you happy and what you think and know is best for you and your family
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 10:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • Just ignore them, I have had people who thought they knew the best way for me to run mine and my families life also, but what matters is your opinion and only...
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:47 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • You could just ignore her and shrug her off. After all ou know how she is and what shes going to say probably before she says it. Or you could tell her that he constantly telling you what to do is annoying. Neither choice is pleasant for you.
    JennyJenny529

    Answer by JennyJenny529 at 10:50 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • well you should tell her how you feel she might get mad but ohwell she needs to know what is on your mind she will get over it yeah her feelings might get hurt but she is annoying you & she needs to know
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • You are going to get suggestions from all kinds of people. Especially with multiples. I'm not saying you are doing this, but sometimes when we put our personal issues out there, people offer all types of "advice". When all you were doing was talking about it, nothing more.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

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