They have been in and out of therapy for years. Bottom line, he does what he wants ALL the time, he belittles my sister and has a veiled disrespect for her and she's just done. She feels he's toxic to her and she'd rather be alone. Sadly, this guy just cannot be accountable for his selfishness over the last 15 years. He's so self-important that he cannot comprehend her reasons which she's explained over and over. He is a nice person and if my sister wanted to be controlled (not in an abusive way) it would be fine. He has to decide on everything and when she gives input he shoots it down with his explanation.
Well, he's calling me, my Mom and her friends to try to "fix" things. He cannot understand why this is happening and is saying she's messed up and depressed. I can say with confidence she's not and she's for once, very clear minded. I love my brother-in-law and he is a decent guy, what do I SAY when he calls? I feel sad for him but I don't feel it's up to me to repeat the reasons for why my sister is done with him. I don't want to say "Well for ten years you've done everything your way, put family in last place and ignored your wife." He just doesn't "see" it. And he's really in pain and I feel so badly for him too. For the record, my sister set him up with their old therapist to help him better understand....ugh. Any advice at all?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in Relationships
Babe I think you just gave yourself the best advice ever. He didn't listen to his wife, he isn't going to suddenly "get it". She did a very nice and reasonable thing to set him up with the therapist and if I were you I wouldn't talk to him period. Of course politeness matters but you don't have to keep listening to him.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2011
Answer by ecodani at 11:39 PM on Jan. 19, 2011
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Answer by coder_chick at 11:42 PM on Jan. 19, 2011
Answer by gwen20 at 11:48 PM on Jan. 19, 2011
Answer by BridgetC140 at 11:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2011
Answer by Alta2008 at 12:47 AM on Jan. 20, 2011
Answer by amessageofhope at 12:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2011
Answer by tinamarie1972 at 11:26 AM on Jan. 20, 2011