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does this seem normal?

so i have lost 2 babies...one at 21 weeks and one at 15 weeks. the one at 21 weeks was a girl and i had to be induce and deliever her! the one at 15 weeks i was scheduled to have a d&c and then ended up passing the baby at home the next day. (day before the d&c) at first it took me a while to grasp the people werent going to stop getting pregnant and having kids..but when my BEST FRIEND got pregnant and then threatened to have an abortion. (she would throw it in her b/f face to get what she wanted) she is now only 14 weeks pregnant. has only had an u/s by her doctor says that is a "girl" and doesnt have to say a WORD...but throws the HA HA HA vibes in my face. is it normal for me to be bothered by the whole pregnancy! she has a 5 year old son who is very intellegaint but when his gma is around she treats him like a 1 year old.
have any of you moms been in a situation similar to this?
i can honestly say im NOT JEALOUS of her! He b/f is an A-hole, and she doesnt work and always says how broke she is and how her b/f wont help pay for anything!
idk i just am super bothered by it!

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meglynn0919

Asked by meglynn0919 at 11:52 PM on Jan. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 9 (286 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Babe I think you are infact bothered by it.  There is nothing wrong with the way you feel.  It's not that you are jealous of HER, it's the baby.  It's your loss speaking up while she threatens to abort hers.  This might not be the best time to be around her.  I'm not saying don't be her friend but you need to heal and her saying that crap is being very insensitive to you.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:59 PM on Jan. 19, 2011

  • I think its completely normal. I think in you're situation I would be bothered as well. Life really seems unfair sometimes. I see so many deserving parents that fight and fight to conceive with no success and yet we have all these teenagers popping out kids like its a trend to keep up with. I don't get it either!!! I'm sorry for your loss, but keep your head up!!!
    XaviersMama311

    Answer by XaviersMama311 at 12:01 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • It sounds like to me that she is throwing up in your face because she know you have lost two and now she's pregnant with another. It would bother me too. If her BF isn't working, he needs to be looking for a job. Who do they think is going to support the kids? She doesn't need the baby, and you want one and that's understandable too.

    Have you thought that you may have an weak cervix and that's why you can't carry a baby to term? Sometimes doctors place a couple of stitches in your cervix and place you on bed rest until delivery.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:46 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • FIRST I want to say how sorry I am for both of your losses! :"( And yes, it is NORMAL for you to be bothered by what you have described above! You have had TWO losses and your "bestfriend" is NOT ONLY giving you the "HAHA, I'm pregnant" vibes but also making comments/threats about killing hers! I don't want to overstep my boundaries here, but I don't feel a "BEST FRIEND" would be doing these things to you! You don't have to be jealous to be bothered, those are two totally different feelings. The next time she does something of this nature, I would explain to her how it hurts your feelings considering what you have been through and ask her not to do this, if she still continues, I would keep my distance for a bit and maybe do some serious soul searching as to why she has EARNED the title you have given her as your "BEST FRIEND". Best friends are there for you, easing your pain and helping you through tough times...will continu
    melissa415

    Answer by melissa415 at 8:01 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Not making your tough times tougher! Explain to her that you consider her your best friend and want to share her pregnancy with her but only if it can be a possitive thing, if it's going to be negative, it's too painful for you. As far as the 5yr old being treated like a 1yr old...yes EVERYONE WAS DOING THAT TO MY STEPSON AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY...HOW CAN WE EXPECT CHILDREN TO GROW UP IF WE KEEP TREATING THEM LIKE BABIES AND WONT ALLOW THEM TO GROW UP! IF IT HASN'T ALREADY THIS IS GOING TO EFFECT HIM IN MANY WAYS...TRUST ME! UUGGHHHHH!
    melissa415

    Answer by melissa415 at 8:07 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

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