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2 Bumps

what can he do?

simple frownok! so DH is coming home sooner then we all thought! but here is the WORST part! he wants out of the military but cant since he still on deployment! His best friend since Grade school, the person who talked him into joining the military , and his bunk buddy has died in a horrible car crash due to some stupid task! and his name isn't released or anything! and so DH is one of the people who will be carrying the coffin. so i get him friday! im excited to see him but not to happy to see what its done to him! all he does when he calls is cry.. this young man left behind a wife, and 2 small children behind! and so i don't know what to do! he's the type that will push someone away when they are trying to help! and he saw it happened so i know he will go thru counseling! and from what i hear in emails is that he's drinking a lot! and i don't want him to drink his sorrows away! so i need advice on what to do, how to support him when he's in pain!

also.. had 2 put it here cuz theres no military as an option. but anyone can help 

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savanah520

Asked by savanah520 at 12:03 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would try to talk to him (if you could keep him calm) about coping with his grief in a different way than drinking..Maybe talking to you while you just listened, and didn't say anything would help more than that. Maybe ask him if that would help? I would definately let him know you would stay quiet if he just wanted to vent to a listener. If he would just consider it, maybe you could get him to open up to you a little bit?
    OurBushBaby

    Answer by OurBushBaby at 12:15 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • If the counsler thinks it is not healthy for him to return to duty he can get a medical discharge.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:17 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I do not know but i found something that you might find helpful http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/getout.htm


    http://www.girightshotline.org/discharges/odpmc/fact-sheet/index.shtml
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 12:18 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • thank you all for the advice! he knows im a good listener.. so i b his "shoulder to cry on" and the whole counselor thing.. they are dragging him 2 since he's not going voluntary! from what i hear they are going to put him thru rehab since he's blaming him self for not being in his place or being there to help him
    savanah520

    Comment by savanah520 (original poster) at 12:24 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • If he is going through severe depression, if he gets into some type of counseling maybe they can help. I know he has to be hurting over the death of his friends. But, he also needs to realize what he has in front of him. He didn't lose you, and he should be thankful for that. He should also realize that if he doesn't get any help that he could lose you too. Remind him of that. I hope things can work out for you.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:29 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • thanx! and i do remind him everyday that he's lucky that im alive and that we have a family coming soon! but he just tells me im selfish! and i know he's just mourning! im hoping he's not wasting his time!
    savanah520

    Comment by savanah520 (original poster) at 12:31 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

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