Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

He goes, i stay. Is it fair? HELP! adult content

My DH works from usually 9am till 7 pm while I stay home with our kiddos. He recently got a gym membership and has bout an hr or 2 after work to excersize which is ok with me but since I breastfeed I can't really do a lot. I really need some alone time and Idk Wat to do. I'm going crazy at home I miss dressing up and going out. Does anybody have any idea how i could overcome this? I can feel myself becoming depressed and when I tell My DH I need a break he says I dont work and I stay at home with our 3 yr old and 3 mo old all day and I "don't need one" then he gets mean bout it Idk Wat to do HELLLLPPPP!!!!

Answer Question
 
HayliesMama325

Asked by HayliesMama325 at 1:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (149 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Oh wow.  Well, he needs to be more respectful.  Your time and work isn't appreciated or valued so why should his be!? 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Ask your DH if he would mind taking care of your children for a couple of hours 2-3 times a week so that you can get together with your friends for coffee or something.
    mcarlson94

    Answer by mcarlson94 at 1:20 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Not fair, just because you are home does not mean that you are not working. Ask him if he would say the same about child-care workers? They have the same exact duties as a SAHM does(only they do it outside of their home and get paid for it), plus the majority of them most likely go home and cook and clean and do laundry there as well.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:24 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Wow. I would say that if anyone needs that gym membership, or money spent on something outsdie the home it's you. If he's going to work all day then he deserves to come home and take the kids for a bit. My husband acknowledges my right to leave after being alone with the kids largely becuase if I've been alone with the both of them all day I start to loose it by the time he's coming home.
    If he's not willing ot let you have alone time without the kids to go toa gym or such I'd say you have two choices.
    1. Mkae him take the kids alone while you go shopping sans children. Not quite alone but if it's what you get it's what you get.
    2. Find something you enjoy doing. Scrapbook, reading, sewing. WHATEVER and inform him that when he comes home from the gym he gets the kids for an hour or two while you go do this. Go to your room or a park or wherever and then have yoru me time where he can get you if absolute need be.
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 1:24 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I choose to stay up late 2 or 3 nights a week after my son and SO go to bed and come here or watch one of my fave shows on-line in a completely quiet and serene setting and partake of some alcoholic drinks and just relax and do my thing.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Being a SAHM is a hell of alot harder than anything he could be doing. I'd say take a day off to show him what you actually do but then that would only make the next day harder for you.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 2:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • well i tell you what next time he comes home from his work out get the keys and leave and do something you want to do, just cause your home all day doesnt mean that you dont need a break from it all. if he wants to act like an ass i would treat him like one infact do that for a week when he gets home go out right as he walks in the door you can pump breast milk and he can feed the baby or feed the baby right before he gets there so that she will be full for a couple of hours.
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 8:45 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • THANK YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH! I'm definatly ready to take some action lol
    HayliesMama325

    Comment by HayliesMama325 (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • tell him to stop being a douche bag and take care of his kids so you can get your sanity back!
    can you pump some bottles for a sitter, or your douche of a husband to feed them while you go out? idk, but your husband just totally pissed me off!!! lol
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:48 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • goodluck mama you deserve to have a break i hope you get what you need
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:53 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.