Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Just not on the same page...

Dh and I are polar opposites when it comes to discipline. He gives into every whim dd has. I do not. I want her to have rules, he lets her run the house. This is ridiculous. It is midnight on a school night, she is awake and watching tv in her room. I say tv off he says I set the timer for 30 minutes! I say it will be hard in the morning getting ready for school he just shrugs his shoulders and says it will be fine! I want the tv out of her room, she says daddy won't let you do that!

 
Noosa

Asked by Noosa at 3:13 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Goodness. Kids have to have set rules, and both parents need to enforce them. Can you sit your DH down with a list of proposed rules, explain WHY the rules are needed, and come to some sort of agreement? After you both agree, sit your DD down and tell her what the rules are. I'm sorry mama, this has to be so very frustrating for you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Wow. She's not going to listen to a word you say or respect you one bit if you don't get this resolved. You need to explain to dh while she's not around this. Kids need rules and if you've already said no to her he should NOT waive that.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:20 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I feel for you. But it is really hurting your daughter. Hopefully you can talk to your husband and help him understand what is necessary to raise a responsible, respectful child.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:08 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Wow! When your kids have figured out that the parents are against each other you don't stand a chance. It is more about him wanting to be a friend instead of a parent. Husband and wife should always show a united front around the kids. If you disagree about discipline you should talk about that in private.

    Maybe show him what the ladies here have to say to help him get this better.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:04 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • omg! i hate that! my son always wants a drink when he gets into bed. i tell him no b/c it makes him pee the bed in the night. my hubby will go in with a cup of water for him. seriously? i say no, you say yes? i don't think so! i told him the next time he did it, me and my kids were going to my mothers....now he knows i can't stand my mother, so if i say im going there i must be serious. i would tell him no, and if he can't follow the rules, then hes not gonna like what happens. this could also come in between you two and your marrage. so i would have a stern talk to him about it. good luck!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Wow I feel bad for you. I cant stand when someone undermines me.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would put my foot down ad overrule him! Does he want more significant problems when she's older? That's what he'll get. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter. They are all adults now. I still have the same problem sometimes; she is 23 and still lives at home. Recently, she totaled one of our cars. I wanted her to use it only to go back and forth to work. He gave in and let her use it to run errands; after that, she started to take advantage of it. I gave up disputing because of a crisis I went through last year. Trust me, you don't want to wait until you have bigger problems. Good luck!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:54 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I agree with Scuba. When your DD is not present, sit down with him and a list of proposed rules. Say 10 at the max. When he agrees to them, post them where your daughter can see them. Even if she can't read, you can refer to them when she wants to break a rule. He must need some visual reminder of what is good for her and her ability to learn and be healthy. I admire you for not wanting to disrespect your DH in front of her. That presents a united front, even if you knew what the outcome would be. Good luck!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 20, 2011