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11 Bumps

hygiene hurting our marriage

so lately my husband has had horrible hygiene, and its starting to affct our marriage. i have to force him to shower every other day, other wise he will go over a week with out one, he rarely brushes his teeth ect. his dad isent to happy about it either. but at night he usualy like to cuddle but i keep telling him no i cant breath when i turn to face him becasue he stinks..im very plain and honest about it. it seriously burns my nose!!! im changing and washing sheets almost everyday!! iv asked him to just keep up with it, but he says "i cant smell myself" yet i can from 5' away! heeellllpppp!!!

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SimplyErathy

Asked by SimplyErathy at 8:31 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (905 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • my exh was this way. when we met he was a very clean well groomed man but as time went on....he would go a week of more with out showering. and he smelled soo bad his feet his breath and even his man hood. i would refuse to be intimate with him because when he would unbutton his pants it would smell like something was rotting. no joke. i went from being attracted to him to being grossed out. (turned out he developed a drug problem) talk to ur man about it. it can ruin a relationship.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 8:52 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • be mean
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Believe it or not but if I remember correctly, Money problems and Depression are neck and neck as the causes for this.
    It's a real medical condition and I can't remember what it is caused in people who are not elderly.
    The elderly do this because they lose their sense of smell and vision decreases with age, they don't know they stink.
    People don't usually shower because they smell themselves, they shower daily because it is the NORMAL part of daily hygiene and part of the human routine.
    IMO-something is going on in his head. Get some help somewhere for him, or your house and cars will start to smell like the shithouse door on the Ballzack Boat. GL!!
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:02 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I'd refuse to even let him sleep in the same bed with me until he cleans up his act, literally!! That is disgusting!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:02 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • ultimatum time,shower or sleep in your car!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Sounds like he is depressed. When i'm depressed, I go for a couple of weeks without showering. Fix a bubble bath for him, and while he's soaking in the tub, talk to him about his feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would simply tell him that if he refused to keep himself clean, I would be sleeping somewhere else. You have to be willing to draw some boundaries and you also have to be strong enough to enforce them. I would also tell him that if I can smell him, so can other people, and there is nothing quite so disgusting as to have to be around stinking people.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I think you are going to have to get tough and tell him that until he starts cleaning and grooming himself every day he can forget about any personal contact (sex, cuddling, kisses, hugs) and he had better find himself another place to sleep cause he will NOT be sleeping in your bed!

    I would also consider making an appointment with him for a physical, to rule out any medical conditions, and I would also ask the doctor if maybe this is a psychological thing and ask if he would need a mental eval as well.

    I hope everything turns out ok, and I hope your husband will get back into a daily grooming routine. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:11 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • yeah, im thinking, drugs, or depression. i go through depressed stages where i will go a week or two without showering, or leaving my house. my hubby understands, and loves me, so he lets me go for a week or so and then looks right at me and says get it together woman!! and most of the i do. so maybe alittle tough love or talking to him? good luck!
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • thanks for all the answers ladies, but hes not depressed (as far as i know) he just dosent like "wasteing time" he rather be working on his car, or finding new stuff for his phone ect, and he says as long as no one at work complains hes fine -_- and for some reason with out brshing his teeth all he gets is stinky breath no visable sign of poor hygeine. iv sat down and talked with him and even told him that i dont want our kids growing seeing that he only showers every few weeks and think its ok. he works on cars and all this stuff and his hair gets really oily if he dosent shower every day...but he calls it "free hair gel"
    SimplyErathy

    Comment by SimplyErathy (original poster) at 9:39 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

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