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How do I get my daughters father to give up his rights?

I know this question makes me seem like I just want him to give up his rights, but I have a good reason for it. He and my husband are both in the Army (he joined a few years after we split). He rarely calls to check on her, he rarely sees her because it's too hard on him to meet me halfway which is an hour drive. My husband deployed to Iraq and we are stationed in Hawaii, so I moved back to KY, one of the reasons so we'd be close to him so that he guess I should have saved myself the trouble. He has another child with another woman who has the same problem with him that I do. Any mention of terminating his rights and he flips out. I'm at a standstill. I don't know what to do. My daughter is 6 and she knows that he don't come around. She wants to have the same last name as me and my husband and her brother, and feel like part of the family but I can't do anything without his permission. Has anyone had the same problem as me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Until he decides to sign off, there is nothing you can do.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Is he paying child support? The only thing I can recommend is going to jag and seeing what your options are, most likely there wont be anything you can do. If you have an agreement that doesnt allow you to leave the state, try to get that changed by a court. Thats the only thing I can think of!

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 10:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I don't have any kind of agreement with him. I did however find out that his rights can be relinquished in the state of KY if he doesn't provide financial and/or emotional support and maintain a strong parental bond with her for more than 6 months after filing a petition for adoption, so there is hope. It's just so frustrating because the military world and the civilian world are 2 different worlds. We weren't married, I was 14 when he got me pregnant and he is doing nothing to support her other than paying his child support and thats only because it is taken from his check, not because he writes me a check and drops it in the mail. And before he was in the Army, he only paid some right before he was to his limit before going to jail over it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Go to court. Talk with a lawyer and see if you can force his rights away.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:27 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • my babies are 2mths and im facing the same situation he dont want to do nothen for them but he want to file taxes and claim dem wen he want to be with me my kids have his last name and he feel as if i should pay to get it changed

    Answer by mscutie at 11:30 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • One of my clients had the same problem with a daughter who was 6 also. She had been asking him for over a year but no luck.
    It seems that many fathers are more attached to the child having their "name" but not attached to the child!

    I suggested that she talk to him and not bring up the name part at all but just discuss the fact that he will be relieved of all financial responsibility of her. That seemed to do the trick for this particular dad. He snatched up that idea and signed the papers! Since then her mom's new husband adopted her and they all have the same name as well as her daugher feeling that she has a complete family now!

    So, when y ou speak with him, don't discull the name part at all. Maybe he'll be the same and be financially motivated to sign! Best of luck to you!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 11:50 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • He should consider the childs feelings of being left out even though she isn't.Children blame themselves for too much now and he should consider the child too.

    Answer by grismelda at 4:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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