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5 Bumps

I caught my 4yr old son with an erection in the shower with my 2yr old daughter. When I opened the shower curtain she was facing the wall and he was poking her with his penis from behind. I am really concerned, what do I do? Of course he will no longer be showering with her but I am all stressed out over the situation. Please Help!!!

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mom349

Asked by mom349 at 11:21 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • – collapse
    He has had to watch porn videos or something to know to do that at 4 years old. JMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jan. 20, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I think it was probably just curiosity...even if there were anyway he could have seen something similar. I would absolutely shower them separately from now on and probably have another talk with him about how his penis is part of his private body and shouldn't be used to touch or show others until he is grown up (and married, if that's what you believe).
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:23 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • 1. please don't leave your 4 yo and 2 yo in the shower alone! too many accidents can happen! 2. you are prolly reading to much into it! as a 4 yo, he had no idea WHAT he was doing. he prolly thought he was, literally, poking her, like he would if he was sitting in the car next to her!
    itzmyzoo

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 11:24 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • you are going to have to tell him that is a no no and breifly explain to him why because thats inapproipriate behavior for his age you may also need to monitor what he watch on television
    mscutie

    Answer by mscutie at 11:25 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would not worry about it or make a big deal about it. I would talk to my 4 year old about how you should only touch yourself in the privacy of your own room and that he should not be poking his sister with his penis. They are children and just exploring their bodies and not doing anything really wrong. Kids don't think like adults and it was probably something very innocent. I understand not having them shower together, although I would not punish my 4 year old and like I said i would just talk to him about what is acceptable.

    Not only that but your DD probably didn't think anything of it either, They really are to young to be thinking in sexual ways at this age, it is more of a body awareness thing.

    Good Luck and don't worry!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:26 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Actually, if you had enough patience and understanding to ask what he was doing, you'd have found out that he was bothering his sister, playing with his body, and exploring the things bodies do.

    No one has to watch porn to figure out poking someone with their finger or their foot, and until the issue is polluted by adults (or hormones), kids do not understand genitals to be any different than elbows or noses.

    Penises (for all the people paying no attention at all) become erect for a variety of reasons from before boys are born until they die. It's uncontrollable, and in a 4yo, has NOTHING to do with sexual arousal.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:26 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • i wouldn't worry to much about it but deff. sop showering them together... he is only 4 so he doen't understand what he was doing
    knm51504

    Answer by knm51504 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Well as the mother of 4 growing boys I have came across somewhat similar situations. I would sit him down and explain to him that is his penis and it's okay for him to touch, but he should not do it in front of others, he can do it in the bathroom aLONE or in his room aLONE. Also what you caught him doing isn't always what you think it is. (Unless he's seen that before?) He might just had been experimenting with the new feelings of the erection (He's 4) and sis was there. Just explain that he does NOT put his penis on anyone just as no one should put their private parts on him. Also, try very hard not to yell or be too angry with him. He is learning about this new reaction his body is having and you don't want him to be ashamed of his body, but you want him to know it's wrong to include others in it. Hope this helps. :)
    charismatic

    Answer by charismatic at 11:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Don't stress. But it's time to stop the bathing together.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:32 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • At 4 years old, he obviously doesn't know what he's doing is inappropriate. Don't freak out, just don't let them shower together anymore, and explain to him that is not appropriate. I have 2 boys and it is entirely normal for them to get erections for no reason, and certainly without being sexually stimulated. Just take this as an opportunity to teach him about keeping his private parts just that, PRIVATE!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 11:35 AM on Jan. 20, 2011

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