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I'm confused about what to do!

My ex boyfriend who is the father of my baby girl wants to have Kynlee and I move closer to him, because when we broke up he moved away for a better job and a new girlfriend.  I'm not liking the whole idea because of our past.  He told me that if I don't move closer that he will take me to court because I don't have the right to keep Kynlee away from her 'daddy'.  So what should I do? It kills me to see him with her and he's only trying to be a "dad" for kynlee because she's ordering him to.. I just want to do what's right for my daughter.

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ashley_mom2010

Asked by ashley_mom2010 at 1:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • He is the one who chose to move away. IMO, if he wants a relationship with his child he should just pack up and move back. If he wants to take it to court, let him.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 1:40 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Going to court and getting things in writing could be a good thing. It would insure you got child support and if he didn't show up to court ordered visitation times he could loose rights.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 1:40 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Let him take you to court??? Has to be filed in the county the child currently lives in... so it'll be his own hell, and he can explain to the judge why HE moved away, why you needto uproot your child, and he'll in the end probably have to pay for the child to be shipped basically back and forth... let him do what he is going to do???
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:43 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • He is the one who moved farther away from YOu guys. So then it is his responsibility to come and see his child if that is what he chooses. Not yours to move closer to him because HE decided to move. I'd tell him its not gonna happen.
    Don't worry too much about him taking you to court. As long as you are a good parent the court is not going to take away any sort of rites you have. They may end up ordering special visitation to him during the non school part of the year. But ultamity it is up to him to come and visit his child not the other way around. Blessings
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 1:43 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Let him take you to court, he may be surprised just how they don't make you move closer. He CHOSE to move away, he will be the one having to travel to see your daughter. Just make sure you have child support, custody and visitation court ordered. He can lose his license, have liens put on his property and go to jail for not paying. As for visistaion, there is nothing they can do to him, he won't lose custody or rights if he doesn't visit. I wish it were that way because my ex would have lost his rights 10 years ago.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:44 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • i agree with the others, let him take you to court
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 1:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • it's just a big mess. I just feel bad because she won't have a family (a mom and dad in the same house) ya know..?
    I live with my dad for many of reasons and I don't feel comfortable moving 5 hours away just because he wants to see his daughter. I said you can always come down on the weekends and see her but thats not good enough for him. He thinks since he pays me childs support that I should do whatever he says, and I'm not down for that.
    ashley_mom2010

    Comment by ashley_mom2010 (original poster) at 1:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Stick your ground. If he is going to be worth a lick as a dad he will make sacrifices for his daughter. Asking you to bend over backwards to make it more convenient to be a part time dad is selfish at best. Tell him that you are glad he's taking an interest in her, but stand your ground. Give your daughter everything you can and don't let him make you feel bad about what you can't (a nuclear family). He's trying to scare you by saying he will take you to court, there is nothing that taking you to court would do for him. Protect yourself and your child, don't go way out on a limb for the man that moved five hours away from his child. If you are scared about what he might be legally entitled to talk, to someone at your local friend of the court. Establish custody yourself. Stay strong and allow him to be a good dad if that's what he's trying to do, if he's not willing to make the effort himself it won't help anyone.
    ashleyaction

    Answer by ashleyaction at 1:54 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • You are not keeping him from her, just not jumping when he demands it. I say, call his bluff. Let him take you to court. I don't see a judge forcing you to leave a stable, familiar environment so he can have visitation.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 2:02 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Tell him to plant a big fat one on your ass. What a jerk. Sounds like he's the one who moved in the first place. As far as I know ex's aren't at the beck and call of the man. If he wanted to see his baby he'd make more of an effort. Tell him to bring it on. He's gonna lose. The courts tend to side with the mom unless there is a big reason not to.
    ajbrownies

    Answer by ajbrownies at 5:34 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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