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addiction?? or just an excuse for what he did??

so back in october of 2010 i caught hubby chatting wit a bunch of girls even telling one that he loved her. gettin naked pics of these girls.. thing is he made up a name n profile so ppl wouldnt know it was really him...he says he knows that doesnt make a difference cuz he was till the one doing it bt he didnt really have those feelings for anyone else but me :( come to find out he had like 20 different profiles n names he used on there on 20 different dating sites..well he says he just addicted to that stuff..swears up n down that he'll never do it again n never ever hurt me..he also did that stuff for a whole year that i found out. did it from aug 2009 to oct 2010 n even said he'd prolly still be doing it if i didnt catch him..he says he felt so guilty all the time but couldnt stop. so my ??? is..is he really addicted or is it just an excuse!?? n if hes really addicted will he really stop n never do it again? can someone stop an addiction over night??

Answer Question
 
mommyof3_21

Asked by mommyof3_21 at 1:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (704 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I have never heard of people being addicted to dating site, but I guess anything is posssiblle, that it really something that a married man should not be doing though.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 1:51 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • well unless he saw the girls on camera, anyone could be chatting to him and anyone can send pics off the internet. For all you or him know, these "girls" are 50-yr old men having a laugh at making him look like a fool. Wouldn't be the first time people have lied about themselves online.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 1:52 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • no one can stop an addiction over night whether it be porn or drugs and alcohol.. If he is truly addicted he needs therapy and if he is making excuses he will not want to go to therapy IMO... But that is unacceptable in a marriage or even a relationship.. You need to set boudaries and decide if he will be apart of the solution or be the problem! Good Luck Hun!
    knm51504

    Answer by knm51504 at 1:54 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • he had been going on sites like fling.com n benaughty.com whre girls r half naked n u can video chat wit them :(
    mommyof3_21

    Comment by mommyof3_21 (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • JMO. He is not addicted. It is an excuse, cause you caught him. He told the truth when he said " I would still be doing it if you would not have caught me".
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:56 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I agree with knm51504, if he's really addicted, then he can swear up and down and promise all he wants, but if he doesn't get help he won't stop.

    If he isn't addicted, he has no excuse, and he just doesn't respect you, or your marriage.

    Bottom line, what are you willing to put up with, and how will you ever trust him?
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:56 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Here's the thing, too. Now that you've caught him, I seriously doubt he'll just stop. He'll probly be more careful about getting caught now. This just may make him more sneaky and learn how to do it without your knowledge. Its pretty easy to cover your tracks if you really learn how to do it.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 2:00 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • thats what i tell him..that ppl cant just change over night..but the thing is he used to keep his phone on silent n never let me see it EVER!!! but now he leaves it home wit me lets me see it call history web history ect ect. he seems like he is changing but thats what im scared of that hes just gonna do it again n hide it better! :( i wanna get passed this n be happy so im praying n hoping he does get better!
    mommyof3_21

    Comment by mommyof3_21 (original poster) at 2:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I agree with Libraraianwomen.. Just because he is showing you his cell and all the stuff on it. does not mean anything. It is call erase everything so you do not know about it. It is ease to open different account you do not know about.  He probably did not change. Just change all his account so you do not know about them.  I hope we are wrong.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:35 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • sounds like excuses to me.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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