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4 Bumps

Shes becoming "that child" at the stores

My daughter is almost 3 and I have no idea what has been going on with her. For the past 2 weeks or so almost everytime we go to the store she acts like a crazy fool. Shes not a spoiled brat, but everytime we go to the store I at least get her at least 1 little toy. Now she wants everything or gets her mind set on one big toy and if I say no she screams throws herself on the floor. I end up having to carry her out like a sake of potatoes. I don't know what I should do. Help!!!!

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Asked by Trishy7 at 2:00 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 10 (472 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Tell her that you can't take her to stores anymore because of how she behaves. Don't take her for a few weeks. If she wants to come remind her why you can't take her. Tell her you will give her another chance, but keep reminding her that she has to behave. If she behaves you will .......(pick something she likes). Also, never take her to a store if she is tired or hungry. That is always a disaster.

    Answer by mompam at 2:04 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Well, first of all, you ARE doing a great job. By not giving in and carrying her out of the store, you are doing the right thing. It is hard for a child not to want everything, heck, I want everything and I'm an adult! LOL! The thing is, they have to realize they can't have it all. Keep up the good work and realize that eventually she'll get the rules straight.

    Answer by m-avi at 2:05 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • You tell her there is a price limit (show her 1, 2, 3 - or use the concept of it having to fit in her hand) of what you can spend, she gets one thing, and if misbehaves and begs and whines for something else, she doesn't get ANYTHING. Simple as that. When she throws herself on the floor for the big stuff, tell her "Now you aren't getting anything today. Let's go," and SLOWLY start to walk away and don't look back. She's young, but I'm sure she'll catch on really quick. She won't like that you're walking away and probably get up so she isn't left alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • the best thing to do in this situation is remove her from the store. Leave your cart where it is, or bring it to the front of the store and let an employee know you will be back. Sit in the car for awhile until she calms down. then explain to her that that behavior is NOT acceptable. Ask her to say sorry then try again. If she acts up again leave the store and come back later without her. It's a pain in the ass and inconvenient but it works! My 2 yr old rarely ever acts up anymore because he knows we'll go home and he won't get anything!

    Answer by alinker at 2:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would just tell her no. If she throws a fit ignore her. If it gets bad quietly pick her up and remove her from the store. Once you do this several time and she realizes she cant get away with that then she will settle down good luck

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 2:27 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Congrats! Welcome to the Mama club of healthy children. Believe it or not you did something right in order for her to have tantrums. At this age (3 and 4) they are supposed to be exercising their autonomy and it is the road to independence.  This isn't about your daughter's tantrums.  While a pain, she is supposed to be doing this.  The real issue is how you respond.  Always be consistent.  Stay calm.  True about just sticking to your boundaries, if tantrum follows, quietly pick her up to have a tantrum in the car.  She can complete it there and when done you can either go back to shopping or return home depending on the activity.  Remember to check in to see if she is up for an activity.  Give her things to keep her busy or occupy her if possible.  Still...tantrums happen.  They should if she is healthy.  What other parents do not get is that your screaming child is healthy and exercising her


    Answer by frogdawg at 3:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • opinions. It in not in some way a bad parenting issue at all. What they don't realize is it is actually a good parent who has a child that is just healthy. Not every child who tantrums, some kids do have rage and mental health issues, are healthy. But the vast majority are.  I think the looks sometimes are the "thank God its not me this time.'  Or "Thank God those days are over!"  And as always the judgemental bitchy moms who think their shit don't stink.  But who cares about them?


    Answer by frogdawg at 3:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Tell her the rules before you even enter a store. If you're fine with buying something small that's fine. Tell her that it will not be something big and if she throws a fit in the store she will not get any toy at all. You have to say it and mean it. You won't have to go through the fits too many times because after she's experienced having a fit and getting nothing she'll know you mean what you say. Just brace yourself because she really doesn't believe you'll go through with it and she'll behave the same way. Just know that you've done the right thing by telling her the rules first and following through. It's embarrassing now but honestly it can go on forever and you'll have years of embarrassment if you don't set the limits now. Good luck! Wear earplugs!!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 8:51 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would just leave the store. I had to do that on several occasions until my son got the point.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 11:13 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I set expectations before we get into the store. Usually it's "We are only going in for x. Do NOT ask me for anything else today." If I am willing to get them something I'll pre set a spend limit. We started this when my son was a toddler and we still do it at 8 & 6yo. When my DD (because it's usually her!) picks out something unreasonable, I remind her the price cap and say "That is nice though. I can understand why you'd want it. Let's put i on your list." Her list is huge and contains nearly anything and everything she's seen in an ad or in a store. ha! It represents all the things that may make a good gift some day. Early on I also started counting dollars out for them on my fingers. "I will spend $5. (Count 5 fingers on DD's hand and have her old them up.) This toy is $10. (count on your hands) Is 10 more or less than 5? Can we get this? What can we get instead?" Then I give them options to pick from.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:39 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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