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3 Bumps

What can I do, to better communicate with my partner without fighting?

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Asked by nati90 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Talk calmly and if you ever feel your temper rise take a deep breathe and try to remain calm. If it isn't possible walk away til both or either one of you can calm a bit and then talk then.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:59 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Dh and I had problems communicating so we grabbed a journal and when we had something to say we would write a short letter to the other and leave it on desk or something. then after reading the person would respond.. It lets you get feelings out without repercussion of confrontation

    Answer by ArystaBrat at 3:59 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • When they are talking stop wiating for them to finish so that you can get you point across.Actually listen. Sometimes if it is something light just let them be right although you know it is totally wrong. You have the upper hand ! Don't say your'e right sarcastically.

    Answer by hollinshead at 4:00 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I like the journal idea. It allows you to write things out and not say things you do not mean. I say listen more than you talk.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 4:02 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • My thoughts.

    In many (if not most) cases, "talking" turns into fighting for a few different reasons..All those reasons boil down to not really knowing how to affectively communicate with one another. Good, open, honest, affective communication is far more than just "telling" someone how we feel/what we want/what we need..etc.Good affective communication also entails: knowing and understanding one another's communication style and communicating with each other in those styles so that what is being said is actually comprehended, actively listening to one another, giving the same amount of respect for the partners opinions/feelings/needs/wants etc, as we want given to ours, and knowing/accepting/voicing our on faults our own contributions to the problems/issues at hand not just pointing out our partners.

    Learn how to have good, honest, open and affective communication with one another.This is the 1st step to stopping the fights

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:02 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Hold hands, look at each other, let each other know that you are expressing your thoughts or concerns versus trying to attack each other. Be patient and understanding and respective of each other's opinions even if you don't agree. Then try to come with a solution that works for both of you. If possible try saying things like: "When you do such and such, it makes me feel this way" or "It would be very helpful to me if you did such and such." Is there anything I can to to be helpful to you and make you feel better? These are some ideas I have, I hope they work for you. Good luck!

    Answer by Svetlana98usa at 4:03 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • use I statements. Dont point the finger. Say i feel, it makes me sad, i really dont like, i really like etc. When someon comes at you and they say you you you you this and you did that and you didnt do this and you said that, it makes YOU lol feel like your being attacked. Take responsibility for your own part in the situation. Also let eachother know that feelings no matter what they are, are YOUR feelings and they are not meant for the other to decide if they are right or wrong. If its something you FEEL then that is real to you. Also always try to see things from their point of view. Im still working on taking my own advice!

    Answer by simonsmama2022 at 6:36 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • My husband and I came up with a word "pluto" We say this when one of us starts talking loud, interupting or being mean or disrespectful.
    This really has helped us to realize when we are being disrespectful it helps us calm down and get along better.

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:02 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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