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2 Bumps

So I know I am not mother material...now...

I have kids. I did it for my DH he wanted them so badly and I thought I could handle it. I was convinced I wanted them also. Now I love my kids but I really hate being a mom. Every chance I get I step back and let DH do all the parenting or drop them off with my parents. I love them and I take good care of them. I just kind of regret being a mom... I know that so bad right? How do I change that. Is there a way to make yourself enjoy mother hood? How do I 'make the best of it'? I got 15 years to go!!  They are good kids.  I really have nothing to complain about...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I'm the same way. I love my kids, and I always strive to do what is best for them, but I hate being a mom. Neither of us wanted children really... But we just kept getting pregnant, regardless of BC. I have wonderful children & couldn't love them more... But I'm really not "mom" material either. I don't have the patience I should and my health stops me from doing things like playing on the floor with them. But all we can do is take it one day at a time and do our best...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • i dont really think you have a problem; i just think you like your alone time. don't all of us? the thing is when you joined motherhood you waved bye-bye to that, along with sleep, and a lot of other wonderful things that childless people have. i like to be alone too; infact right now im making my 3 kids play in the bedroom for an hour until i start dinner at 5. after that, we eat together, play together, then they take a bath and go to bed. i need this hour for my sanity. and i dont think it makes me a bad mom, nor do i think you needing your space every now and then makes you one. you just have to realize, you're not always going to get that freetime, and thats because of the choices you made to become a mom. as long as your kids know you love them, and you treat them with love and affection, support them, you're doing all of the right things.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • What is it that you hate? Maybe join a support group, or see a counsler about it.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 4:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • It's definitely a hard job. Wont lie to you there. And if you think you only have 15 yrs to go, I got news for you. You cant turn it all off when they hit 18! If you are doing the best you can, you are providing for them & you really love them, then that's half the battle. Maybe a support group or therapist like another mom suggested would be helpful.  If it's just that you dont like sitting & playing make believe- then join the club!  I love to play board games or Uno, but I'm not into just playing.  Hang in there mama.  Try to find a little joy in each day w/ them.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:43 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Everyone needs time to themselves. You said you have 15 years to go, so the youngest is 3? You may be the mom that prefers them a little older, when they are a little more independent and mature. It does not make you a bad mom. ...My MIL told me that she loves her kids but was never meant to be a mom, she would have been fine never having children, though she did not regret them...I think it is just the way some people are.
    december911

    Answer by december911 at 4:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • It is hard, but honestly go talk to a counselor. You might have other issues beyond not wanting to be a mother. Sometimes it helps to join a support group, talk to a counselor, etc.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:58 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Figure out what you hate about being a parent. Like if it's certain aspects then maybe you could change it to make it easier on you.
    Unfortunately not everyone is mother material, even if they do a good job being a mother. Just take it one day at a time and find what you can change to make it easier.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:44 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • honestly, i feel the same
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Well i am not sure how to answer that question. I love being a mother.. its stress full sometimes but i don't ever put the thought of hating mother hood. Id talk to my hubby if i started feeling that way. or a counselor . that is just my opinion. please don't get mad at me

    Good Luck momma
    Mrs.Ro

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 4:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I dunno what it is I don't like about it. I mean like I said they are good and I love them I just prefer to be by myself. I don;t like constanly having them around. I'm a little to selfish with my time for motherhood I guess...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2011