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3 Bumps

Is my mom going overboard?? I love her and need her help but it's a bit much!

my mom is a big help with my daughter but she has been a real pain since my DD started a new school. She is all over me ab every detail dealing with the school. She has gone to the school a few times to talk to the teacher. She thinks their spelling words are too easy, that she doesn't send home enough papers or homework. She is on my case ab going to eat lunch with DD so I can observe the class (though we've alreaey had open house, conferences, etc). My DD is a great student she hardly gets anything wrong but she got 2 wrong on a math test so my mom wrote a note to the teacher asking if she could explain it to her again and the teachers reply was that they had gone over it many times and DD had done fine in class and in independent work. I told my mom she was overdoing it a bit bc DD is in 1st grade and hardly misses a question! She got mad...what do you think.

Answer Question
 
secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 5:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Ick....
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 5:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Mom needs to butt out
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 5:13 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I think she's going too far. It's lovely that she cares that much about her granddaughter but I think that she needs to back off a little.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 5:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Yea it sounds like she is going overboard. I think she has the best intentions and wants her granchild to have the best education possible. But she needs to back off a little. Let her know how you feel and that you don't want to have your dd feel like too much pressure is being put on her. You are the mom and it is 1st grade. Tell her that you appriciate all she does for you and you are glad she is concerned and involved with your dd's schooling but tell her that it is a little too much for 1st grade and that she needs to bring it down an notch or two (nicely). Good luck
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • overboard would be an understatement! im sorry you're dealing with this. i really dont have any advice!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Maybe there needs to be a talk to your mom about YOU being the parent not her. It sounds like she is being way to possesive over your DD. Is it really that unreasonable for a 1 grade child to try there hardest and miss a question on a test? You are the one who should be incharge of teacher conferences not her.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 5:15 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • *splash*...overboard!
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 5:15 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Yep- there's encouragement/involvement & then there's GramZilla! -LOL- She needs to back off a bit- Tell her if she's really that concerned over a few missed questions, maybe she should pay for a tutor (which would be a waste of her time/money- but maybe it would show her that your dau's right on track) Good luck!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I would request that the teacher not discuss your daughter or her work with anyone but you from now on.
    Luuckymommy

    Answer by Luuckymommy at 5:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I can honestly say that I've been struggling with my mother since my now almost 15 year old daughter started in kindergarten. It doesn't get better and in my case, it has in fact gotten worse where she is enabling my daughter to do things that I don't approve of (due to differences in our opinions).

    I encourage you to put your foot down as soon as possible and establish very clearly, who is the mom and who is the grandma. Try telling her that she's already been there as a mother by raising you, and ask her to allow you to do this for your own daughter now.

    Good luck!
    Beebumbles

    Answer by Beebumbles at 5:20 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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