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I am not a very good friend... vent

My friend of 16 years called and hinted she needed to leave the state she was in, due to a falling out with many people. She owes them back rent, and wants to skip out on paying them. She has saved her money to move here but wants to leave right now.
My DH has a bad feeling about it and so do I. Like she will end up staying here longer than she says she will need to. She can't get an apartment due to her credit and has had her Dad's help all this time.
But her Dad is telling her to move back home at 34. She does not want to, I guess because he asked her to go to some NA meetings also.
But I can't let her come here because a couple of times during the night she visited us, she tried to get into my Hubby's home office to see what was in there.
But I told her we were moving to get out of helping her.
I told her I feel that she needs to go home to her parents.


Asked by idaspida at 6:57 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,744 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If you're not moving, I wouldn't lie. She is 34 years old, it sounds like this is her track record, and that she will take advantage of the situation. It would be different if she had always been a responsible person, paid her bills, and taken care of business, then something happened out of her control like a lay off, or an illness, and she needed help. This is a situation she has created. She already told you she is planning on running out on her rent, and she already blew it in your home by trying to snoop in your husband's office. YOU aren't being a bad friend, you are being a good wife and mother....she is being a bad friend by taking advantage, and not taking care of her own responsibilities.

    I'd just be honest and tell her it won't work. If she can't accept that, it doesn't sound like she's the kind of friend you want around anyway.

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:28 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • that is a tough one BUT you have to look out for your family and make sure they are safe and taken care of first ......especially if you have kids. it is hard but sounds like she may need her parents help and NA might not be a bad idea...

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 7:01 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Yea thats a tough one. But I agree you need to look out for you and your family. She should take her dads help and move home. I understand not wanting to move home but it sounds like she needs to and to get help. Stick to your gut feeling, she may not be happy about it and be mad at you but your family comes first.

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Tell her sorry but it just not possible and won't work for your family at this time for her to be moving in and she'll have to make other arrangements. She doesn't need any more details then that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • At her age, it's time to be responsible. She should move home, get a job, earn some money and get her credit back on track, even if it takes a year or two. It's just not your problem and helping seems like it will become a problem. She hasn't shown she can be responsible so why on earth would you put her up? She's taken and taken and now wants to run from creditors, that's just a bad sign.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

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