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My sisters wedding/ pushy step mom, what to do?????

My sister is getting married in 2 months. Me, her and our mother have planned the entire wedding however, now (conviently after everything has been planned and paid for) our SM is trying to push her way into the wedding.My sister made it clear she wants her to be there as a guest not a parent of the bride. She doesn't want her in the formal wedding pictures (our dad has been married 4 times and if they get divorced, she doesn't want all her formal wedding pictures to have someone who isn't around and was never really part of her life), she isn't putting her name on the invitations (just our mom, step dad and dad) and she doesn't want her to wear the same color as our mom and the mother of the groom. In her words, "I feel that these things are to honor the mother, not the woman who happens to be sleeping with the dad at the time of the wedding". Our SM keeps nagging my sister to make her dd (who we have met like twice) a brides maid. She also assumed she would get a part in the precessional and be in the receiving line (neither of which my sister wants) See the problem is, our dad has only been married to her for 3 years, she is 21 and I am 23 so we were both adutls when they got married and they live about 4 hours away so the extent of our realtionship with her is a few visits a year. Our dad paid for the wedding dress and alterations but other then that, our mom and step dad paid for everthing. The step mom says that she should get the same consideration as our step dad, the thing is, our step dad has been around since my sister was 1 year old or so. Her plans for the wedding is for both are dad and step dad to walk her down the isle and our mother and the mother of the groom to light the untiy candle. At the reception, she wants our mom, step dad, dad, and our 3 half brothers at the table together, as the tables only seat 6, this means there is not a seat for the step mom at the tabel. My sister plans to put her with our dad's parents and grandparents. I think that it is her wedding and she should get what she wants. I can't understand why she can't just be gracious and take the place the bride has asked her to take. Is my sister wrong.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think it is fine what she is asking of the step mom....The only thing I think should change is the reception seating...I mean your dad is her husband and she should sit with him...It would only seem right.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 8:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I see your point about the seating but if she sits at the first table, then one of our brothers gets bumped down to another table and she doesn't want to do that. Plus they are really too young to sit by themselves (they are twin 5 year olds and a 7 year old, they were adopted if you cant tell)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:51 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • If they are that little, i can't see it being too hard to get an extra chair with that table...
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 8:53 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • She already asked the recetion site, they said they only do 6 at a table, yes they are little but their place setting will be the same size as everyone else's so on the table they will take just as much room and there just isn't room for 7 place settings.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:46 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • It doesn't matter, your mother remarried and has a new husband. Your dad remarried and has a new wife. Regardless of how you feel about your stepmom, how do you think your dad would feel if you told him that you didn't want her there. Everything has been planned and can't be undone now. I think that your anger is the fact that she's old enough to be your sister rather than your step-mom.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:57 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I don't think your sister is wrong at all. If your SM has not been a part of your life, such as your step-dad has then she has no real right to be a part of the wedding as a parent. It's also not like your sister is being selfish and telling her not to come at all. It's her wedding, her special day and if people can't respect that, then they shouldn't come.
    KamAndKingsMama

    Answer by KamAndKingsMama at 2:45 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • have you thought about asking your dad about the reception seating? Maybe he wants to sit next to his wife, even if that means sitting with his parents.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 9:46 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • amessageof hope, this is my sister's wedding no mine. She is not young enough to be my sister, in fact she is older then my mother.My sister is 21 and I am 23. She wants her there, but only as a guest, not as a parent and not in the wedding party
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:17 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think your sister is not wrong at all - she has every right to feel the way she does. SM is just being a witch IMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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