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Just want to vent and get support...

Today started off ok. But by the time the afternoon approached I was feeling grouchy. My husband went hiking with my brother, which left me alone at home with our 8wk old. What's new though? I basically feel like I'm alone or caring for the baby by myself all the time. Plus doing laundry and cleaning the house. Oh and don't let me forget constantly picking up after my husband. Sometimes I wonder what role dads play? Many times I think it would be easier if I was single and forced to do it alone because then at least I'd only have to worry about me and the baby instead of a grown adult.

It's like things will be going fine with me...I won't feel frustrated or tense and then all of a sudden everything annoys me and then I start to get really critical and over analyze everything. I need to just learn to let go... If only it were that easy!!

Things have been really tight financially for the past few months. We moved from CA to MD and I haven't been working. I'm hoping to start work in the next month or so. But it doesn't help the immediate situation. I hope that once I start working and we have a double income that things will be better with our relationship, meaning less tension when it comes to the finances. Who knows though. My husband is a spender and I would rather save or look for bargains. That's once issue I have...I don't necessarily trust him when it comes to money.

Question-Should I just accept that if you want something done you have to ask the husband to do it? Many times I just wait for my husband to notice things that need to be done and I just end up waiting and waiting. It's just so hard for me to constantly ask. I have the hardest time understanding why guys just don't seem to take initiative. HELP!!

All I know is that my precious baby girl is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Thanks for listening/reading my rants!!

Answer Question
 
hljones

Asked by hljones at 9:33 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • most guys are like that..need to be told what to do & at times make u feel like u have another child in the house!! not all men, but a lot of them
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 9:36 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • im sorry ur dealing with this. and congrats on the baby. im a mom to a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old and i feel the same about doing everything for them and the house. but i have found that rather then waiting for dh to fix something or hang pics i just do it myself. makes me feel good to show my dd that we dont need a man for everything. my ds helps too. or if its something i know is to hard for me ill call my father in law. who will either do it or get hubby to actually do it. good luck
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 9:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I feel the same way all the time. But you just have to remember that guys are stupid, and if you want something done, you have to do it yourself or it will never get done.
    Make sure you get a break every now and then. It'll do you some good.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 9:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Men, when you need something done tell him you need it done and need it done by this time. Otherwise he may do it in his own good time. And with an 8 week old your hormones are still bouncing all over the place, AND you are tired. Tell him you are mentally and physically exhausted and need some help. Get your own checking acct, as far as finances go, and not his name on it. Protect yourself. Even if it means taking some money when he gets paid and putting it in there. Get off any joint credit cards too if you can, have yours and he have his.....speaking from experience is all. Lots of luck.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:56 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • in my experience, men tend to be not so good at parenting babies, but become much better fathers once the child is a bit older...women tend to want to nurture and cuddle children (perfect for babies) while men tend to want to do more actual activities with them (perfect for toddlers or beyond)....its likely to get better with time, but that also depends on the man of course.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 10:07 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • trick the lazy little beast into helping out with housework and the baby. most men want to think they're the best hubbies and daddies on the planet. so when you see him doing what he's supposed to (remembering to put his nasty socks in the hamper instead of on the floor, or taking time out to play with baby or actually- gasp- changing a diaper) tell him how great it is that he's not like those 'other' dads out there who suck. when he screws up (hides under the covers during a midnight feeding you asked his help with, or leaves his dirty dishes on the coffee table) either a: do it yourself and repeat several times throughout the next week how you 'did it for him (implying he's incompetent) or b: ask him "hey, can you be a love and get this for me?". then of course, end up doing it yourself. men have tiny brains. they learn slowly. we keep them because they're cute and sincere. (watch the dog whisperer for more tips).
    ruejacobs

    Answer by ruejacobs at 2:28 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I am a mother of 2 (3 and 10 mos) and my husband STILL has to be told to do things. If I ask him, he usually happily does it but won't offer the help up on his own, lol. I did notice when I worked and he stayed at home though that when I got home, the house was spotless and our son was very well taken care of. Maybe if you give them no alternative they are more likely to take initiative?
    KamAndKingsMama

    Answer by KamAndKingsMama at 2:34 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

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