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3 Bumps

stepparents.

Hello!


My son is a year old and his father & I arent together. We never were it was a one nighter that I woke up preggo a month later. My sons father has become engaged and will marry later this year. I really am having trouble learning how to like this women...and the thing is I REALLY WANNA LIKE HER!!! I wanna make it a wonderful thing for my son to not have to worry about both side parents getting along....but the idea of another women * motherly figure* in my son life bugs me! Has anyone ever went through this?????

Answer Question
 
LuMomma09

Asked by LuMomma09 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I am a step mom and my step sons' mom and I don't get along because she wont give me the time of day. Try being her friend and straight forward with her. If you and your ex have a good relationship let it be know to everyone you just want whats best for your child and you want all of you to be close and open about situations. GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 10:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • My ex isn't married but I know how you feel. I think you should invite her to lunch and tell her straight up that you want this to be a pleasent relationship, you dont' need to be best friends but you dont' want your son to end up being put in the middle of things, Tell her your concerns that you don't want someone playing mommy with your child. You expect him to have a relationship with her but you are his one and one mother. Remember no marrigae certificate can change a birth cirtificate you are his mother, and his only mother. Hopefully, you two can make this work. I know a lot of times a SM will play mommy just to upset the real mom.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Maybe go out to lunch together and get to know her better. If hubby and I were ever to divorce I would hope to like their stepmom if they have one and get to know her and maybe become friends.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:19 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I am the stepmom and in a similiar situation but i would just try to make friends with her. or even try to talk to the father first if your relationship with him is good kinda get a feel of how you should go about it. it does get easier as you get to know her and as your child gets to know her as well. best of luck to ya momma!
    MrsDuff

    Answer by MrsDuff at 11:02 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I was the step mom too and in my personal opinion , you can never take the place of the real parent. I hope and pray this woman accepts your son. That is the one thing some people don't remember. Your not only marrying the parents but the children as well. I could never befriend the Mother because she and my DH did not part on good terms...but for the sake of the children. I did only say nice things about their Mom. I'm sure it will be fine...just remember you don't have to be friends with this woman. Just make sure she treats your son good and you with respect
    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 12:42 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • im the step mom and bio mom was pissed from the word go that there would be another mom type person in the picture. We tried to make it work as far as just becoming civil with each other. Maybe she felt some sort of competition began. She still talks trash about me after 11 yrs and I've bent over backward to raise my step daughter with my husband but there's no winning with her. I got about 3 more years and I'm legally done. Maybe she'll chill then. IDK I know people make it work but it will NOT work if you have that "she better not do this or say that or act like she's their mom, etc. Its impossible...I've lived it.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 12:45 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Try getting to know her a little better. Maybe all three of your or even just the two of you could hang out somewhere for a little bit. Wanting to get to know her is a step in the right direction for your son. I'm not saying that you have to be friends with her, but so that you can be comfortable to let your son around her. I'm a sm and although bm and i have had our differences over the years I always try and keep the peace as much as possible for the sake of my ss.
    shoot4thestars

    Answer by shoot4thestars at 12:49 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Its great that you even want to try. Congrats on your good attitude!!
    Robbiesmommy83

    Answer by Robbiesmommy83 at 3:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2011

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