Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Becoming me...

Okay so today I had a long talk with a friend that I've had since jr high. He's been through everything with me. But tonight he told me that I'm not who I used to be and it worries him. I won't go into detail whats all gone down except my hubby cheated. My friend told me I've never had a self esteem or a good one anyways and it hurts him to see that. so tonight he challenged me to try and wake up every morning and tell myself I don't care what everyone else thinks. He wanbts me to try and find myself! Ahhhh! I don't know how to do it! I just rely on others and yeah so he suggested to meditate. Can someone please tell me how to meditate haha? I'm being dead serious I have no idea how to meditate but I'm suck of being down on myself all the time.

Answer Question

Asked by Heidikans at 10:07 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Health

Level 20 (8,357 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • sorry for all the typos lol I was typing WAY to fast.

    Comment by Heidikans (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I'd say try yoga for meditation. I don't do it, but it might be worth a try. As far as becoming yourself, if you are having self esteem issues, just look in the mirror and figure out what you like about yourself or what you'd want to change about yourself. Focus on that task. Live life and do what you can control. Take responsibility for your actions and don't be a door mat. Go out and have fun...responsibly. You can improve yourself just by altering your way of thinking slightly. Tweak it so to speak. Just think positive and you might start to feel better about yourself and things around you. G'luck.

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 10:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Meditation is a relax state of mine. You can do it laying in bed listening to calming music, go to a peaceful place to just think and look out and relax, go get a massage, get a pedicure alone, anything you find relaxing. There are tons of books you can find anywhere on how to do a meditation. I found myself by letting go of those who were not the best people to be around. coming into my own person took time and it does not happen over night. Really like I said I feel its a state of mine where you find a place that is just so perfect for you to not have a million things running through your head.

    Answer by annabelle092810 at 10:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I'm going through this right now.... the past 7 months have been so challenging but rewarding at the same time. I've had to move back in with my mom (and our relationship is horrible), didn't have a car for a while and my job is 34 miles away one way, and still be there for my DD. Now the upside is that I made a really good friend while this all happened and she has really been there for me and helped me ralize that I can't let people walk all over me and I need to be proud of who I am and just focus on my daughter. I have a car now and am looking for a better full time job and a part time job as well because me and dd need our own place. I put my foot down with my mom and told her she will no longer talk down to me and I have basically stopped talking to her about anything personal because she is so judgemental and negative.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 10:29 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I have also met the man of my dreams and he is also helping me discover some things about myself although I'm not sure that he realizes that. Things are getting better and I feel like I'm becoming me. Slowly but surely. I feel like I'm becomng a stronger woman due to the recent trials I've overcome. Good luck to you. You can do it.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 10:34 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • For me Meditation is Repetition, to repeat something good, healthy, or loving toward yourself or someone else in your mind over and over again, for a few minutes. I use scripture but you can use other quotes or even make them up yourself. For example you could tell yourself, "I am a wonderful and helpful person. I will love myself today."

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 10:39 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Thanks ladies :) I don't know how but I'll do it. my friend just texted me telling me I'm beautiful and it's flattering because when my hubby says it or my mom or dad I feel like their just saying it just because they have too. Guess I gotta start thinking positive and speaking my mind. First goal never hit anon button again. I am who I am :)

    Comment by Heidikans (original poster) at 10:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I have some bad news: you're not lost, you're right where you left you.

    It's interesting that you attribute things 'out there' to your self-esteem. I think you misunderstand the meaning of the term.

    Self-esteem is based on what you know you can do well, what you have accomplished, what you believe your value as a human is, and what you think you can achieve in your life, whether it's 4 more days or 40 more years.

    Self-esteem is not based on what other people think of you, whose approval you have, what choices the people you love make, what your body looks like, or how well you do things you don't enjoy or do well.

    How To Meditate:

    Sit, stand, lie down or walk thoughtfully. Notice how your body feels. Notice how it feels to breathe. When your mind wanders, bring your thoughts back to how your body feels, what it feels like to breathe.

    Hard, hey?

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Buttercup I just wrote on my bathroom mirror today you are you that is truer than true there is no one else that is youer than you- doctor suess

    Comment by Heidikans (original poster) at 10:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • Lay in bed practice breathing exercises.
    Ligth candles take bath focus on scents I always use scented oils, lotions and soaps. I have a ton of pain and I use the scented items to relax. I try to focus on the scents and they really make me feel good. i dont have much in life I cant drive and I really dopnt go anywhere but therapy and md appts Trust me scents take me away!!!!!

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 10:58 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.