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Why is this so hard?

My man is in jail & has been there since August I have stuck by him every step of the way it is just so hard to deal with mentally,emotionally, & physically has anyone else been in this situation? Please ladies no bashing just looking for advice & support he is not just some guy I randomly met he is my first love I have nown him since he was 14 years old)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jan. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Well gee....its hard because he is in jail....I hope he didnt kill anyone....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • For crying out loud really? State the obvious & no he didn't kill anybody

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:27 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • you just have to decide if you want to be there for him if he gets out and goes back again are you ready for that comitment? knowing how hard is now..
    kyiahsmommy

    Answer by kyiahsmommy at 11:46 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • I know not all guys in jail are horrible. Some ppl get the book thrown at them for first offenses, and some get a slap on the hands even if they are repeated offenders. I have good friends n family in jail. Serveral of them deserve longer n some of them don't deserve the time they got, but hey it's us against the so called "law".... Anyways to get to my point... All I can say is if you love him the way you say you do than stick by his side! Love him n all of his defaults! God knows we all have defaults!
    shellbi19

    Answer by shellbi19 at 11:54 PM on Jan. 20, 2011

  • If your relationship is strong and healthy stick by him. My cousin went through the same thing her husband was in jail for a year at that time they were 3 years into the marriage and she stood by his side. However the relationship they had was based on partying and there was an age difference of 6 years he was like 21 and she was 27. Before he went to jail she was always broke. While in jail she was stable financially. When he got out money got tight again. He was unable to find work because of his record. Eventually, he started messing around and eventually left her and their son for another woman. He came back and left again. This is just her experience that I thought I would share. If you are ok with the fact that he will have a hard time finding work and that life gives no guarantees then by all means stay by his side. Consider everything so that you do not regret time wasted later.

    NativeMommy123

    Answer by NativeMommy123 at 12:07 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think it's totally up to you and whether you think you're strong enough to weather through this rough patch in your relationship and whether you think things will be the same when he gets out. It's obvious you care about him or you wouldn't have even taken the time to ask the question. I wish I had some personal experience or something to help you figure things out. I say, follow your heart and know that things will work out the way they are supposed to. Best of luck to you!
    KamAndKingsMama

    Answer by KamAndKingsMama at 2:22 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • it sure sounds like you really love him. be totally 100 % honest with your self;; does he have all the qualities you look for in a man?
    will he be able to be a good provider when he gets out ? his criminal record might hinder that
    did he / has he consistently treated you with respect ?
    was this his 1st time he has been to jail? (and not a repeat offender)

    if u can honestly look in the mirror and answer YES to these questions, he might be worth waiting for, but if you answer NO to at least one question, he might not be the one for you in the long run. i know u have been with him for a long time but that does not automatically mean he is right for you. i remember being with this guy for years and loved him dearly but he got arrested multiple times, i finally asked myself a few questions and i realized that even though i love him, he was not what i needed in my life. i sure wanted him in my life though ! pray a lot. it works
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 2:52 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Your must be hurting so bad. I am sorry. Things are going to ruff. It is not going to be easy as you know. The sad part is a lot of people are not going to be as supportive as they could. Usually the people that feel so unsympathetic are the same people who have not been through this. Hang in and hang on. He is going through a lot and so are you. If you are there for him then stay there. keep looking for support because you will need it. I am on your side hun. I am here if you just wanna vent. I do understand. My 33 year old son is also in jail. I have needed and looked for support and I was quite hurt at how many self righteous, better than it could never be my family people I have met. Use this time as hard as it is to be there for each other. I do not want to be judged and neither do you.

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:12 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • how long is he in for?i went thru it with my ex husband...its very hard
    lovemykids2011

    Answer by lovemykids2011 at 4:04 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

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