Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Should I sue her?

Long story short, my husband left me and my 3 kids after 10 years of marriage for a woman he worked with in 2009. I guess he couldnt resist, she bought him a motorcycle for cryin out loud! He was gone about 4months before he begged to come home and I let him. Two months after he comes back the girl tells him she is 5 mos pregnant. She was married for 11 years and told my husband she could not conceive. So my dumb husband believes it and became her sperm donor. He took the paternity test in October 2010 and of course it was his. I know it takes 2 to tango and my husband is to blame as well. BUT......I live in a state where you can sue for damages when someone sleeps with your spouse "criminal conversations". I was a full time mom and student the affair caused me to have to drop out of school, I am still seeing multiple therapist require medications and for the next 17 years have to watch a portion of my husbands income go out the door to support the product of an affair. But had she not entertained a married man I would not be typing this. Damages awarded are usually high in excess of 40,000. I have no burden of proof because of the signed notarized document stating that she had intercourse with my husband. So...should I sue her? My life and my children's have been changed and will never be the same because of her desire to be in a relationship with my husband. Does she deserve to get the baby she always wanted at my families expense. I would probably never see the money if I got a huge reward but its the principle. What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • um isnt that his child? He should have to support it, he screwed up too. and it sucks that ur having to go through it, but eventually, ur not going to feel better because u ruin her life by suing her. Instead be the bigger woman, and make that baby a part of your life as well. Sue for visitation rights. it is your husbands child and he is paying child support. it might hurt you, but you will see the power of this outcome after u take it on. Dont have ur husband pick the baby up, but you or a family member, or BOTH of you.

    Answer by toughmom638 at 2:58 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • It was both her and your husband's fault. Seriously...if your taking your husband back, your taking the problems back. I would be divorcing him and suing him. You can't just make her financially accountable if you aren't willing to do the same with your current husband. You yourself he was to blame as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I personally find it very hypocritical that you would sue the woman who "destroyed your family" but yet you have taken your husband back? Everything you say about her, you could easily say about your husband and vice versa. You say he's a good man but made some really bad decisions? Well maybe she's a good woman that made some really bad decisions. They are both equally to blame for the destruction of your family, HIM more so because he was the one with the comittment to you and your were all just strangers to her. If you want to sue her than fine, but IMO you'd need to leave your husband for it all to make sense.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:21 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I would kick his sorry ass out and make him pay child support and alimony to you.. That should help you financially, and mentally... IMO

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Not unless you plan on suing him too. He is equally at fault. Sounds vengeful. He was the one that made marriage vows to you, that had a bond with you. I see him being married and going ahead and doing things more at fault than her.

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:57 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I have to be honest - I think that is petty. Why not be the bigger woman? Decide whether or not you want him, and act accordingly. If you're going to take him back, do so. If you want him out of your life, kick him out of your life! But I think suing people for anything other than child support is rather immature.

    Just my opinion though!!

    Answer by Holly. at 1:05 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Do you really want to go through with suing someone because they slept with your DH? It seems spiteful and petty, especially since there are innocent children involved that don't need to read about the details in the paper. There is also no guarantee that you will win the suit; do you have the money to fight the battle? With your DH now living with you, I'm going to bet that your case is pretty weak.

    Answer by Scuba at 11:14 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • sue the shit outta her. I would

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 12:34 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I'm not sure how I would handle that situation. I can understand her wanting a baby, BUT she didn't have to go after your husband (or even if he pursued her, she didn't have to go along with it). That would be a decision that I would have to seriously think about for a long time. Ask yourself if it's really worth it to you, if you're doing it just to get back at her, etc. and try to figure out if it's really the best thing to do. I'm sorry your family has gone through this and I wish you the best. I hope you figure out what to do.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 12:42 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I got her back good enough when I decided not to kick my husband out after the discovery of the pregnancy. I figured he's a good man that made some really really bad choices. My child support was set so high - he let me get 400.00 over the legal limit voluntarily because he knew he was wrong that he could have never had made it on his own. If I kicked him out he would have had no choice but to go back and be a family with her and her child while my kids watch their father live with and nurture another kid because of my pride. No way! He even goes to counseling with me and his disowned his mother for communicating with the girl. No not revenge it more of a moral issue for me, you just dont do what she did.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:49 AM on Jan. 21, 2011