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children of single parents need counseling?

someone said something like this from another post so I was thinking of making my own question. so what do you all think? I disagree.

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lambdarose

Asked by lambdarose at 8:37 AM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 22 (14,088 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • I took my kids to counseling when I separated from my ex just so they could learn how to deal with their emotions constructively and have an unbiased party to talk to. I definitely think it helped - it's been 5 years and my kids are very well adjusted.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:42 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think it depends on the child and the situation. I am a substitute teacher and just this week I had a kindergartener come up to me and tell that she feels sad because she no longer lives with her dad. She asked to go see the guidance counselor.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 8:44 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I don't think just because you are a child of a single parent you are going to need counseling. I also think kids that have both parents could need counsling. For me I think counseling is great for anyone who needs it and to make a blanket statement like that is kind of interesting. With out knowing any other details of the situation it is hard to say.

    My middle child, who lives with both parents, went to counseling for an anxiety problem. After he went he learned how to control it and is doing great.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:45 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Counseling for what??
    I know when I got divorced that I had to take a kind of a parenting class. That was something that we both had to do.....from the courts. It really wasn't bad......they really stressed about how not to talk bad about the other parent in front of the children, and what you could do to help your children cope.
    I know that not everyone has to do this......but I also know some people that should have been 'made' to do it!! They could have really learned a lot.......I know I did, and we didn't really have bad or difficult divorce.
    jucyfrut

    Answer by jucyfrut at 8:45 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • i don;t think she was talking about a divorce situation. the question was about children needing both a male and female rolemodel. so like single mother and single father. and that the children will look for that missing figure later in life. its different with divorce. i am not saying couseling is a bad thing i am just saying if the kid is well adjusted and its kind of judgemental and saying that all kids with a single parents household are not well adjusted. kids with both parents have problems too. just because you have both parents doesn;t mean its stable household.
    lambdarose

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 8:47 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • I think it depends on the child and the situation, as well. My parents got divorced when I was 5, and my elementary school tried to put me in a group therapy session with other kids going through that, and it just wasn't for me -- I didn't need it, I was fine emotionally. And after that, living in a single-parent household was just a way of life, not something that required any special attention in and of itself.

    If the child is having a hard time of it, then sure, counseling may be warranted. But not all kids do. And also, not all kids' problems are caused by their family situation; some kids just have problems. This is why generalizations are bad.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 8:49 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • exactly jucyfrut, couseling just because they do not have a father figure or mother figure does not make them unstable or not well adjusted. that is what i got out of the answer at least.
    lambdarose

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 8:51 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Oh - I misunderstood the question, sorry. I don't think counseling is needed, but I do think single parents should search for role models of the opposite sex for the child, whether that's a grandfather or uncle to a child being raised by a single mom, or an aunt or grandmother for a child being raised by a single dad.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Again, I think it would depend on the situation and the child. Let's say that a single mom has a son and the father has never been in the picture. At some point in that boy's life he is going to need to talk and ask questions to a male role model. Some are lucky enough to have a grandfather or uncle to turn to and some don't have that. I could see where going to a male guidance consoler could be beneficial . My husband's best friend is a prime example. He had no one to talk to, no role models, nothing. There are many things that as a 28 year old man he should know but doesn't because he never had anyone who could or would teach him. It has honestly caused great problems in his adulthood. Do all children of single parents need counseling? No, but some do.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:00 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • In some cases, it's true. I grew up with only my mother, don't know my dad, I needed counseling as a teen to help with my anger and hrut issues from my father basically not wantign anything to do with me. Now as for my kids, i'm sure they won't need counseling if there 'dad' decides to stay in there lives.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

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