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6 Bumps

What would you do if he keeps going limp when you try to have sex? adult content

The last couple of times we had sex, my boyfriend (we have been together almost 2 years and have a 10 month old child together) has gone limp midways through. One tim eI was on top and one time he was on top.

The big thing is that I initiated sex both times and I NEVER can bring myself to do so because I am so scared of being turned down or turning him off by asking for sex when I look as fat and funky as I do. (I seriously hate my body. )

He claimed it isn't my fault, but I feel like it is. I know if he masturbates that doesn't happen when he is looking at those beautiful women. :( I almost wonder if he usually has to look at or imagine other women (that he see's in magazines and movies) to finish sex with me and that's when he initiates it yet when I initiate it he doesn't have that stimulation to be able to actually get enough in the mood to finish with me.

When it happened last night I just went into the bathroom and cried for a bit, then went to bed to act like I was going to sleep until I heard him fall to sleep and then I went into the livingroom and cried some more. He told me last night (he came to the bathroom to check on me) that it isn't my fault and that his "junk just isn't working for him lately".

What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jan. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I have had this happen myself. The last guy was a pretty new relationship and he was really into me. We where at a hotel for a get away weekend and he just lost it. I mean nothing spells fun and excitement then that kind of situation where the sex is still new and the guy is crazy for it. It really was him and not me. Isnt that wierd, if I had been married to him and that happened I would have taken the blame and wondered what I did wrong,,blah,blah,blah. But it wasnt me, so maybe it is being tired or blood sugar or age. Dont read too much into it hon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Maybe he is just tired. It can be very tiring, emotionally and physically, when there is an infant in the house. I wouldn't get too worked up about it. If you feel that badly about your body, you should work on changing that. You are probably behaving differently if you feel that badly about yourself right now.

    Answer by Marwill at 9:32 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • try again later, maybe he's not really in the mood.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:46 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Is he on medication
    a frequent drinker
    have a porn addiction
    All these can cause impotence

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:20 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • Maybe he needs to go see a doctor? I don't know how old he is, but men of all ages can experience erectile dysfunction.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:20 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • i went thru the same thing! I wouldn't beat yourself up about it .. do u guys go straight to sex or is there any foreplay? I would try to switch things up a bit and be more spontaneous and to try new things.. Sometimes toys and stuff like that can really help..

    Answer by knm51504 at 9:23 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • that's happened to my dh before idk how many times and we've been together over 9 years.....if he is easily distracted, like my dh is, then sometimes he'll go limp, just happens sometimes just like sometimes when he wants to have sex and i'm not really in the moos, i can't make myself enjoy it we just don't have the problem of it being obvious like they's not you, just think of the times when he stays hard and the sex is awesome....that's when it's you :)

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 9:36 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • NEVER THINK IT'S YOUR FAULT! DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK! Every woman is beautiful, inside and out. He might just have ED or you can do a lot of foreplay or dress up in sexy lingerie, role play, toys.... There are a ton of things you could try to help with this problem...

    Answer by mamaziller at 9:54 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • It could be medication induced (if he's on it), stress, or another medical problem.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:49 AM on Jan. 21, 2011

  • It happens and not your fault

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on Jan. 21, 2011